girltalk Blog
It’s pizza night at the Chesemores. Many Monday evenings (Brian’s day off) we take advantage of the one large pizza for $4.99 special at Jerry’s Subs and Pizza. When you’ve got four hungry men to feed, it doesn’t get much better than this!
Other nights of the week the menu will vary. Sometimes I pull a meal I’ve pre-prepared out from the freezer. Or, if I’m cooking I might make the boys sit at the table and read for a while. Recently I let them all stand on chairs in a row so they could watch me make dinner.
Conversation also varies. Some nights Brian and I have a chance to chat for a few minutes about our day. But most evenings, dinnertime with three boys is pretty much about the basics. Like teaching Owen not to sing at the top of his lungs at the table.
We’re working with three simple rules these days:
1. Feet in front
2. Use Inside Voices
3. No touching
(Did you catch the acronym here?)
In addition to basic manners, Brian is also using My First Book of Questions and Answers catechism to teach them the basics of theology. So far, Liam can correctly answer one question: “Who made you?” (It took a while to convince him that it was “God” and not “Thomas the Train,” which he thought was the answer to everything!) But Andrew can now answer dozens of questions about Bible truths and we usually review 7-10 questions each evening.
After eating, it’s down to the basement with the boys to wrestle with Daddy while I do dishes.
So, do you still want to come over? We’d love to have you. Hope you enjoy pizza. Oh, and don’t forget to use your inside voice.
Here we are enjoying some tangy South Carolina barbecue. The little guy at the end is Jack. On the left is Steve’s younger sister Megan, his mom, Nancy and dad, Bill. That’s Steve and me on the right.
This casual Sunday evening meal was followed by family night. We had a competitive game of dominoes fueled by Bill’s yummy home made trail mix (the secret’s in the peanut butter chips!).
In our multi-generational household with two homemakers, three adults working outside the home, and one toddler with stuff to say, dinnertime conversation is pleasantly eclectic.
Recently, though, Steve has been training Jack to ask questions. We want him to learn to take an interest in others. And he loves taking an active part in the adult conversation. “Dad, can we do questions?” he usually asks five minutes into the meal.
Beginning with Bill he takes a verbal lap around the table, enthusiastically asking: “Pops, what did you do today?” When he’s finished he wants someone to ask him about his day.
After one round, Steve helps him begin again. This time he asks each family member, “What did you read in the Bible today?” Quiet time accountability from a three-year old! Seriously, it’s my favorite moment of the meal. Our son gets to hear the gospel five times over from his grandparents, aunt, and parents. Not to mention the encouragement we all receive from this time of fellowship.
Don’t get me wrong. Whitacre dinnertime isn’t always a worshipful experience. Some days we’re rushing off to church meetings, or Jack needs discipline, or only two in a family of six can make it.
But despite our inconsistencies, a three-year-old boy is learning lessons that will shape the man that he becomes—proving that you can’t measure the value of a meal by the grocery budget.
Our week would not be complete without a Friday Funnies that centered around food. My little friend, Will, wrote a school report containing some instructions for making one of my favorite sandwiches, the grilled cheese. Check it out here.
Be sure to join us for some dinner on Monday!
Janelle
on behalf of Carolyn, Nicole and Kristin
Elizabeth wondered—as I’m sure every woman has: “Oh, what is it I do want? Somebody who feels as I feel and thinks as I think; but where shall I find that somebody?”
God alone knows the answer to “where shall I find that somebody?” But He’s already told us how we—and that somebody—should feel and think. For a true soul mate is one who ultimately feels and thinks as the Bible feels and thinks.
In our book, Girl Talk, Mom outlined several biblical qualities we should look for when considering “that somebody.” She also provided a few question to evaluate how we as women should “feel and think” about a potential spouse.
Whether you’re still wondering where you will find that somebody, or are currently in a relationship, we hope these thoughts will help you evaluate love from God’s point of view this Valentine’s month:
C.J. and I sought to provide our daughters with a “list” from Scripture of essential qualities that should characterize any man desirous of pursuing them. These qualities included:
1. Genuine passion for God. The greatest commandment is to ‘love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind’ (Matt. 22:37). A mere profession of faith is insufficient. A godly man will consistently display love, obedience, and increasing passion for the Savior.
2. Authentic humility. ‘This is the one to whom I will look,’ says the Lord, ‘he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word’ (Isa. 66:2). Your daughter will marry a sinner—that is certain. But if he is a humble and teachable sinner who is quick to repent, then he will be sure to grow in godliness. This humility will also be evident in his love for and submission to God’s Word.
3. Love for the local church. At the center of God’s plan on earth is His church. A young man must be pursuing fellowship and serving faithfully in a local church if he is to make a good candidate for a husband.
4. Biblical convictions about manhood and womanhood. A successful marriage is due in large part to a couple’s grasp of their respective roles and responsibilities. A potential husband must be committed to complementary roles found in Scripture. He must be ready to embrace his responsibility to love and lead his wife. (Eph. 5:22-25).
In addition to comparing the young man to this list of essentials, we also helped our daughters evaluate God’s commands to wives. From Scripture we asked our daughters the following questions regarding the young man each was considering:
-Do you fully respect this man the way a wife is called to respect her husband?
-Can you eagerly submit to him as the church submits to Christ??
-Do you have faith to follow this man no matter where he may lead??
-Can you love this man with a tender, affectionate love??
(1 Cor. 11:3; Eph. 5:22, 33; Col. 3:8; Titus 2:4-5)
Again, this list of qualities and questions is not exhaustive. However, it provided clear, objective, and biblical criteria to assist our daughters in determining God’s will—whether or not they were meant to join their lives with a certain young man.
The conclusion to this chapter appropriately sets up the courtship stories to follow: “Each courtship, whether or not it ends in marriage, is its own unique journey. But God has provided all the wisdom that we need in His Word.”
For more on relationships and our own personal courtship stories click on our “Courtship” link.
BOOK CLUB ASSIGNMENT: Please read chapter five and come back next Friday to hear a present-day Elizabeth share how “God Never Makes A Mistake.”
While there are valuable lessons to be learned around the dinner
table, there are also wonderful memories to be made as well. By
faithfully eating together as a family, ordinary meals can together
become an extraordinary memory. But sometimes it’s fun to mix it up a
little. When we were young, mom looked for creative ways to turn
certain dinners into special memories. We chose our favorites to get
your own creative juices flowing. Check these out:
Kristin’s picks:
Encouragement Dinner—We took turns encouraging each member
of the family over dinner. For dessert, we drew names, and with sugar
cookie dough and alphabet cookie cutters, spelled out a godly character
quality of the family member whose name we had picked. We were then
assigned to do one thing special to honor that individual during the
coming week.
Mystery Dinner—Each family member had been assigned a
particular aspect of the meal (appetizer, main course, side dish,
dessert, etc.) the week before. We could decide what we would make, but
we had to keep our dish a secret. So, when we showed up for dinner, we
had a surprise of a meal—including peanut butter sandwiches, fancy
salad, green bean casserole, shrimp cocktail, and Kool-Aid. To set the
mood we had mystery music in the background. The game for that evening
was an invigorating round of Clue. We finished off with a mystery movie.
Nicole’s picks:
Switching Places Dinner—My mom had us draw the name of
another family member and we had to sit in their seat at dinner and
behave like them throughout the meal. I remember it being so funny to
see my dad imitating my Uncle Grant (who lived with us at the time) and
my mom acting silly like Janelle.
We repeated this dinner activity years later when Joshua Harris and
Andrew Garfield (who were attending the Sovereign Grace Ministries
Pastors College) lived in our basement. It was even more hysterical the
second time, especially since Josh gave an Academy Award worthy
performance as my dad. He even wore an imitation bald cap!
Backwards Dinner—This meal was inspired by the definitions
of the word “backwards”: “doing something in the reverse of the usual,
the right way,” and “toward the past.” We, of course, did everything
backwards for that particular meal. We had breakfast for dinner. And we
had to have fulfilled a “backward assignment” during the day and tell
about it at dinner. The options were to wear an article of clothing
backwards (one that people could see!), eat our lunch backwards in the
presence of a friend, walk backwards around the outside of the house
three times (while it was still daytime!), or wear a nametag all day
with our name written backwards. Then, at dinner, after we reported on
our humiliating “backward assignment,” we looked backwards over the
past year and recounted one specific example of God’s goodness.
Janelle’s picks:
Progressive Dinner—This one works great for the little guys.
We ate each course of our dinner in a different room of the house while
doing an activity. In the first room we ate hot dogs and put a puzzle
together. The Memory Game and deviled eggs came with the second room.
It was applesauce and story-time in the third room. We concluded with
apple cider and talked about the meaning of each of our names in the
last room (To my sisters’ delight that is when I discovered that my
name means “gift from God”).
Silly Dinner—For this meal, we came dressed in “silly” attire. I can still remember running around my house that afternoon
trying to put together all of the craziest stuff that I could find.
This was right down my alley (probably not one of Kristin’s favorites).
We all assembled for dinner looking ridiculous—mismatched outfits and
crazy hair. We ate our meal starting with dessert (a practice I still
enjoy) and ending with our salad. This was made even more hilarious
with Mom having us use the wrong utensils to eat our food. Then we
launched into a series of silly activities. We drew a picture in the
dark. Mom turned out the lights and gave instructions: “Draw the
outline of a house. Put a door on the house. Put a tree in the
yard….” You get the idea. Not exactly art museum material. We then
drew names and gave a silly command to the person whose name we drew.
The evening ended with a lovely family picture.
“Children learn manners mostly by example. It’s only when they don’t pick up on some detail that we must point out their lapses…manners are a cut-to-the-chase way of teaching important life lessons.”
Just as we learned many life lessons from the books we read after dinner, the same can be said about dinnertime manners. Table manners may seem insignificant but, as the author points out in the quote above, they reinforce important qualities such as courtesy, love for others, and self-control.
When I think about dinnertime manners, my mind immediately jumps to a white teddy bear with a red and white striped hat that played Jingle Bells when you squeezed his paw. This little guy was the much-coveted prize of the “Mahaney Dinnertime Manners Contest.”
There was a time when the manners of my sisters and myself…well, let’s just say that you wouldn’t have wanted to come to our house for dinner. The regular reminders of “no elbows on the table,” “no talking with food in your mouth,” “no eating with your fingers” and “no interrupting” seemed to be falling on deaf ears. (Sorry, Dad and Mom!) Drastic action was needed and so the “Manners Contest” was born.
Rules? We had one week (one week!) to reform our backwards dinnertime habits and re-acquaint ourselves with our silverware. Dad and Mom would be the official judges, observing us closely at mealtimes and choosing a winner at the end of the week. The winner would receive the bear.
I wanted that bear so badly! I still remember thinking through my every move as I ate my chocolate chip pancakes (a Saturday night favorite). The week came to an end and it was time to announce a winner. And while there had been much growth in all of us, one daughter stood out above the rest. Yes, it just happened to be me. And to this day, it’s one of my favorite stories to recount to my sisters.
I hope this sparks your creativity. You may feel that you are constantly reminding your children to exercise better table manners. Don’t get discouraged! Consider using a game or a prize to motivate your children. You will not only teach them important lessons, but a life long family memory can be made. The little white bear that played Jingle Bells when you squeezed his paw has been forever recorded in the “Mahaney Family Memory Book” to be told, retold, and told one more time!
Even with a simple menu, a lot of work and planning goes into making family mealtime a reality. So what do you do once everyone is seated around the table?
We’re going to share just a couple of traditions that defined Mahaney family dinners over the years. This is not to say dinnertime at our house was perfect—like any family we had conflicts, rushed meals, seasons where nothing extraordinary seemed to happen. However, by strategically using dinnertime to make memories our family bond was strengthened.
My favorite dinnertime activity was when Dad read aloud to us after dinner. Sometimes he would read one chapter and we’d all scoot off to various meetings or activities. Other days we would sit with unwashed dishes late into the evening—all engrossed in the story. Predictably, when we’d come to the end of an especially moving book, Dad would be overcome with emotion and unable to finish. Someone else would have to volunteer.
Dad used breakfast (when everyone was fresh) for Bible study and theological teaching. After dinner reading was amusement with a purpose. Over the years, Dad read us numerous biographies, history books, and works of literature.
Particularly vivid in my memory are the many books we read on the African-American experience: Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Help Me Remember, Help Me Forget, and Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry to name a few. Dad wanted to be sure we understood—as best as white suburban children can—the tragic history of slavery and racism in our country.
The Chronicles of Narnia were a favorite and so was The Hiding Place, Through Gates of Splendor, Deadline and Dominion by Randy Alcorn and Our Town. Most recently, Dad, Mom and Chad have been enjoying The Complete Calvin and Hobbes and Letters From A Nut.
It has been said that books can take you places you’ve never been. By reading together after dinner, our family shared many experiences and went many places—together.
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching—only ten days to go! Last year we solicited ideas from all of you and received some super-creative suggestions for blessing your husband, family and friends on this special day. Check them out today (one, two, three, four, five, and six) so you can prepare in advance.
Speaking of suggestions, we received some helpful tips from several of our readers on meal preparation last week. So before we move on to discuss what happens over meal-time we wanted to pass these ideas on to you. Please note that we have not personally researched the websites that are recommended. Enjoy!
MEAL PLANNING
From Mary:
Please check out the following link for those who feel stumped as to how to do planning and/or are too busy to do it: http://www.dinewithoutwhine.com/. As a single woman with a room-mate; we are both so busy we often “eat out” when we could with a little planning make meals we could take for lunches to work instead of eating out and perhaps even eat with each other instead of on the run or in front of the tube to unwind. After the first week this is a pay site, but it is nominal and at least I like it and can modify the ideas for two single gals on the go, it at least gives me a starting place and a grocery list!
From Evy:
A friend of mine was inspired by the posts you’ve done on food recently and she posted some wonderful links on her blog: http://web.mac.com/chilibowl. As a new bride I eagerly explored these sites and they all seem to have some helpful bits and pieces on meal planning, cooking on a budget and lots more.
From Judy:
I have been reading your blog on meal planning and thought I would share some ideas that work for our family. First, I bought a year calendar that has both individual daily scheduling and a month at a glance page. Presently, I have meals planned through July without any duplications. As I am reading my cookbooks I note recipes I would like to try. I use the month at a glance page to write down the name of the recipe, which cookbook, and the page number. A money saving tip that I read some time ago is to plan for leftovers. I do not cook on Monday’s or Wednesday’s as there are always leftovers from cooking the other five days. As I am writing down the recipe I take note not to have similar meals within the same week, or four nights of chicken, etc. Another money saving tip is to shop biweekly. When I am planning my grocery list I add to the month at a glance page what I will serve with the main dish. I always try to make an extra special Sunday dinner with dessert (desserts are presently planned through July as well). I also like to be prepared to bring guests home on the spur of the moment on Sunday, so I always make plenty. I attend a women’s Bible Study every other week and we always take something to share. Again, I have inserted on the calendar what I will make for these dates. While the initial planning takes a little time; I love that I don’t have to think about it every week. I have tried many systems over the years, but I have found this plan to work best for me. My family can also look at the calendar and see what’s for dinner. Around May, I will work on meals for the remainder of the year.
From Heather:
I have found enjoyment for myself and the rest of the family in planning themes for certain nights. Friday nights I make pizza or calzone, Thursday nights I make Mexican food and so on. Sometimes I wonder if I am boring to do that, but I find that having a plan and some structure actually helps me to be more creative. I also have lists of different foods in each category-a list of pasta dishes, a list of different Mexican foods, a list of soups along with lists of desserts and sides to put with each. It is really helpful as I sit down to meal plan and have distractions. My lists help me to plan quickly and efficiently. When I try a new recipe and my family likes it, I often add it to list it goes on so I don’t forget it.
From Amy:
In my college years, my roommate and I had a tradition. We would eat stir-fry with our personal set of chopsticks that she had brought from South Korea (she had spent three months there). We would eat together in our room and pray for some Asian country or for our church missionaries we had in South Korea.
My point? Something that I thought would be a God treasuring tradition for my family as well as keeping us aware prayerfully for other peoples, cultures, nations, and missionaries was to set a weekly or monthly international meal, and pray for a country or missionary that is in one of those countries. You can have your Operation World handy to select a country and know how to pray for them more specifically.
Here are some websites with international foods, and some suggestions of my own. It doesn’t have to be difficult or take extra strange ingredients. It depends on how creative and how authentic you want the foods to represent the country you are praying for.
International Food’s Websites:
http://www.cooksrecipes.com/category/international.html
http://www.recipesource.com/
http://members.tripod.com/~GabyandAndy/Internation_Recipes.html
http://www.masterstech-home.com/The_Kitchen/Recipes/Recipe_Indices/InternationalRecipesIndex.html
Operation World Website:
http://www.gmi.org/ow/
My Own Suggestions ...they are simple:
Black beans and rice any Central American Country
Steak Argentina (you know your family would LOVE that meal!)
Stir-fry (Asian Country)
Chicken Curry and Rice (India)
Hot dogs, Hamburgers, fried chicken (USA)
Tacos - Mexico
Spaghetti or Lasagna - Italy
From Tracey:
Saw this link on home management at http://ordinarymother.wordpress.com/—thought you might like to take a little peek: http://www.squidoo.com/homemaking.
GROCERY SHOPPING
From Mona:
One of the most important things (at least for me) when grocery shopping is to make sure you have all your coupons! I’ve found that by using coupons and matching them up to the stores sales, I can save quite a bit or money (sometimes as much as 50% off my bill).
From Linda:
After reading your recent post about menu planning, I thought I’d send you this little grocery shopping tip I’ve learned! I’m attaching my grocery list that’s on my computer and follows my traffic pattern through our local WalMart . . . I just post it on my fridge each week, circle what I need as I run out of it and then on Mondays (when I build my menu and shop) I just have to walk through the list in my mind to make sure I have everything needed for the menu!
All it takes to create a list like this for your favorite grocery store is a trip through the store with a piece of paper and a clipboard. You just write down what is in the aisles that you would normally buy. Then you come home and type it up. All you have to do is print it out each week and everything is in the right order as you walk through the store!
No matter how you change it, having this type of list helps me to cut costs at the store because I am in and out faster and more efficiently and I’m not tempted to buy things that aren’t on the list.
RECIPES
From Jenny:
When I left home (ten years ago) my mum presented me with a hand written folder of all the recipes we had cooked together, that were fool-proof. Although the years took their toll on the paper I have typed them out and added to them. One of my brothers was most distressed that he didn’t get one, and so when James got married recently he got his own version including all his favourite recipes.
I wanted to share with you a super website that I use a lot—http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/. It is linked to a magazine that I subscribe to: The BBC Good Food Magazine. One of the things I like about it is that there are pictures of every recipe so that you can see what you are aiming for! The recipes are updated daily, and there is a facility to add recipes to your own “binder” so that you can keep track of the ones that you fancy making. You can also search by ingredient, or define searches by “ready in under 10 minutes” or “one pot meals” for those times when you just need something quick and easy.
From Marianne:
A couple of years ago when Joanna’s vision became impaired, I began typing into the computer and saving each recipe that I wanted Joanna to make. This way, I could enlarge the font, and bullet each step to make it easier for her to read and follow. My hope is that this little project will eventually evolve into a LARGE PRINT collection of tried and true favorite recipes that she can take with her. Typing it one at a time is definitely no hardship, but the accumulated effects will be great. Thanks for sharing your idea.
From Laura:
I want to share with you one of the most precious gifts I have been given. As a wedding present my grandmother compiled a recipe book for me to take into married life. She asked my family members as well as my husband’s family members to pass around this book (it went all over the Southeast!) and write in favorite recipes. This little book contains handwritten recipes and commentary in the handwriting of our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. There is also room in the back for new family recipes. I use these recipes all the time.
My grandmother went home to the Lord two years ago, and this recipe collection is even more special to me now. I treasure the thoughtfulness of her gift that I will be able to pass down to my own children. I just wanted to share this idea with others and encourage them to create their own “heirlooms” for their families.
From Elise:
Family recipes are golden and too often they become lost between generations. I did a similar idea, albeit backwards, with my grandma when I was single. She was in her late seventies and I was in college at the time. I had no idea as to whether or when marriage might happen (no “beau” was on the horizon) so I gave her a binder with tabs and paper and wrote all the titles of my favorite recipes of hers on the tops of pages. I gave no definite timeline… just whenever she had time. I think it took about 3 years. Our family gatherings always centered around she and my grandpa’s home (they were farmers) and her kitchen. She died within the first year of my marriage.
I miss her greatly, but adore that cookbook… written in her handwriting on pages spattered by her making the very recipe she was notating. (She cooked in her head too!) They’re precious pages.
From Alanne:
For those ladies who want a quick fix…..
Life’s on Fire: Cooking for the Rushed by Sandi Richards
12 weeks worth of recipes for 4-8 adults (can be halved if needed)
20 minutes prep time (or less) and you eat in 25 - 60 minutes.
Weekly grocery lists at the back or print them of the web.
You can plan your day around how long each meal takes
The best book our family ever invested in.
Can also check out Healthy Cooking for the Rushed.
I believe Sandi Richards has 7 kids. She’s been there and done the research. It’s fabulous!
From Evelyn:
Have you seen this site? http://www.abondanteliving.com/ It’s a bit over the top for me but I love reading the ideas and recipes. And it makes me want to do more in the area of hospitality. Another site full of encouragement on meal prep and keeping the home organized and together is http://www.flylady.net/.
We are grateful to Mary Ann for this food-related Friday Funny.
More mealtime discussion on Monday!
Nicole
for Carolyn, Kristin, and Janelle
I am the mother of two preschool boys who love to be where I am. So, typically they are in or around the kitchen. That’s where I spend a good bit of my day. In an effort to save money I began regularly packing my husbands lunch. About two weeks ago I received this endearing email from my grateful man. I thought you might get a laugh out of it as I did:
My dearest,
Thank you for the lovely spaghetti lunch. It was yummy. Please know for future reference that green play dough does not constitute a vegetable. Apparently the container in which my lunch was stored must have at some point been on the table during play dough time. There was a dime-size chunk of green play dough that microwaved wonderfully. There were several smaller cooked flakes as well.
As Cam would say, “Is this dessert?”
Love you,
Craig
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