girltalk Blog
Show of hands—who is going back to school, sending a child to school, or preparing to teach this fall? I bet a lot of hands went up out there! School days are upon us again. There will be broken pencils and slow computers, late night study-sessions and pop-quizzes, classmate conflicts, “light bulb” moments, and more than a few tears. And there will be lots and lots of reading.
But there’s something more certain than all the predictable aspects of the school year: “Surely [not maybe] goodness and mercy shall follow me all [not some] of the days of my life” (Ps. 23:6, emphasis mine).
“With God these qualities are not merely solid and dependable” explains Derek Kidner, “but vigorous—for ‘follow’ does not mean here to bring up the rear but to pursue.
If you are a Christian, goodness and mercy follow you “always” says Charles Spurgeon: “the black days as well as the bright days. Goodness supplies our needs, and mercy blots out our sins.”
Goodness is shadowing us, in the halls of school or the kitchen table at home, to provide all we need—strength, wisdom, perseverance and patience—to help us glorify God. And Mercy’s right behind, to pick us up when we fall: bringing pardon for our sins through the blood of Jesus Christ.
What a promise to take with us into the first day of school—and all the school days thereafter!
More “school days” stuff from the girltalk archives:
He Goes With You
Taught by the Lord
A Prayer for My Son
Wake-Up Ideas
A Peaceful Morning Routine
An Extra-Special First Day of School
No More Boring Lunches
I love Friday Funnies with pictures. And I don’t think it gets much funnier then this image sent to us from Danielle (the final winner in our wedding contest!). I hope the photographer tried some other angles!
Enjoy your weekend,
Janelle for my mom and sisters
THE HEADLESS GROOM
“On the field of life, God challenges every woman to live and run in such a way as to win the prize (1 Corinthians 9:24). In whatever she puts her hand to, she’s to ‘do it with all her might’ (Ecclesiastes 9:10) in order to hear that blessed commendation from the Lord, ‘Well done, you good and faithful servant’ (Matthew 25:21). And if she’s to achieve this noble goal on the field of life, she needs to be convinced of living according to these two fundamental principles: ‘Play your position!’ and ‘Win it!’ Womanly Dominion, p. 18
In Womanly Dominion Mark Chanski calls for a recovery of true feminine strength—strength endowed by our Creator, redeemed by our Savior, and empowered by the Holy Spirit. It’s in recovering this strength that Chanski sees women fulfilling the call God has on their lives or, as he puts it, “playing their position.”
These “fundamental principles” of “play your position” and “win it” are not Oprahesque cheers for women to take self in hand and realize their dreams. They come straight from Scripture. God’s Word repeatedly urges us to spend our strength to fulfill His call on our lives for the praise of His glory.
So what are we giving our strength to?
We may run ourselves ragged doing many good things and yet miss what’s most important. Given the incessant “shouts from the misguided cultural sidelines” and our own wayward hearts, we easily become muddled, scattered, confused, and then overwhelmed. We lose the clarity of purpose found in Scripture’s guidance for our lives: both in the creation mandate and the wonderful privileges afforded us through the gospel.
But we must be careful that the good, even the very good, never replaces what Scripture says is most important. We must not try to “win it” in many good areas at the expense of “winning it” in the essentials. We must be clear on what Scriptures says are the priorities of our “position”: our spiritual growth, service in the church, evangelism, love for our husband and children, caring for our home.
We must ask ourselves—what am I spending my strength on? Where does most of my time and energy go? Where am I trying to “win it”? Have I allowed the good (even the very good) to distract me from Scripture’s clear assignment to me as a woman? Am I giving myself to temporal matters at the expense of the eternal? Have I unintentionally wandered from my position? Are there any good things that I need to give up in order to fulfill the role assigned to me in Scripture?
These questions are just to get you started. As you prayerfully consider them in light of God’s Word, He may prompt you with other probing questions that enable you to view your life through the lens of Scripture.
But let me encourage you to take time to evaluate your life and priorities. After all, what we’re playing for is nothing less than the commendation of our Lord and Savior: “Well done, you good and faithful servant.”
And never forget: it’s all because of His grace and for His glory.
Chapter 2 next week….
We don’t want you to miss this! If you are a married couple who has conflict (and who doesn’t?) you need to hear this biblical advice from Dr. David Powlison. Nine years ago in our pre-marital counseling, my parents shared this wisdom with Steve and me. Few things have served us more in helping us to resolve conflict, have fewer conflicts, and grow in grace together. So listen, and for further study, buy this book.
Today Julie shares a few practical things she has learned about hospitality over the years…
Go with your strengths…
- Do you like a more formal dinner or casual? Don’t try to be what you are not comfortable with.
- Do you like to have a buffet or family style or serve a meal plated?
- Budget wise…maybe you should just have dessert.
When planning your menu…
- A simple meal served by a relaxed hostess is preferable to an elaborate meal with a worried and anxious hostess.
- Choose recipes that are equal to your cooking skill level.
- Pick one or two items to invest time into. Make the other parts of the meal less labor intensive.
- Make the food you love and everyone will love the food you make.
- Hospitality is about giving, not impressing. It creates an atmosphere that makes you want to sit, eat, drink and linger around a table for a long time
- Develop a plan or schedule, working back from when you want to eat.
- Be light hearted. If you feel anxious, your guests will not feel at peace.
- Our children are watching what having people over is like for us. Do the heart work for it to be a true joy.
- Accept that things rarely turn out the way you imagine.
- Approach meals with the thought that this is like family. People are blessed just to be in your home.
- There is a learning curve so start simple!
- The good hostess is the person who makes you feel welcome, relaxed, and part of his or her life.
- Take stock of your strengths and weaknesses. If you don’t enjoy cooking with others watching, then plan to have everything ready.
- Plan your time realistically. Making things ahead of time while leaving a few things that need to be done last minute.
- Create a check list of things to be done and your menu. There have been times when I’ve made food ahead of time, stored it and then forgotten to put it out.
- Leave yourself 15 minutes before guests arrive to clean up all the pots and pans. Starting with an empty sink makes for a peaceful start.
- Think of things that people can do to help if they ask…chopping, finishing salad, getting drinks.
- Start with your dishwasher empty.
- As far as cleaning in preparation, concentrate on the kitchen, the room where you’ll be eating, and the bathroom. People aren’t coming to inspect your cleaning skills.
Gathering supplies…
- Gradually acquire large serving pieces. I pick these up at Marshalls, T. J. Maxx, Ross for under $10.00.
- Consider purchasing plates, plastic ware, cups from Sam’s or Costco to have on hand.
- I have sought to gradually get enough dishes to serve our extended family, plus friends. It took some time and saving, but has really served us.
Well, summer is here! Let’s talk to our husbands and get some dates on the calendar. Hospitality doesn’t need to be one more thing to do. It is an opportunity to build friendships, influence your children, and bless others. There are few more relaxed ways to get acquainted than over a meal. What a joy it is to bring glory to God through this gift He has given us.
We’re down to the final two winners of our wedding story contest. Today’s tale is from Kathy, a former church organist, who probably has a lot more stories she could tell!
I used to be a church organist, and often heard wedding stories during rehearsal dinners. One groom related some unusual events which happened during his best friend’s courtship and wedding. Believe it or not, all of these events happened to the same couple.
“John” made elaborate plans to pop the big question during a romantic dinner at a lovely restaurant. “Mary” was fighting off a stomach bug, but sensed that John had worked very hard to plan something special and so she agreed to go out to dinner. Just as John popped the question, Mary was overcome by nausea….you can guess what happened next.
Fast forward to the morning of the wedding, when a phone call brought the news that the organist had fallen and broken her ankle. Since no substitute could be found, the bridal party walked down the aisle as 200 guests hummed the traditional bridal music.
Then it was on to the reception. In the middle of the minister’s prayer for their meal, a loud crash was heard. The bridal party and guests opened their eyes to see that the very long buffet table had spontaneously collapsed under the weight of the dinner and the wedding cake, all of which was in ruins on the floor.
Thinking nothing else could possibly go wrong, the happy couple headed off to a romantic honeymoon at a mountain resort in Pennsylvania. Mary thought the bubble bath John had run in the heart shaped tub was such a romantic touch. A very puzzled John, realizing he could take no credit for the bubbles, investigated further…..only to find their “bubble bath” was really backed up USED bath water from the room next door. John and Mary gave up and headed home, laughing at all of the stories they would be able to tell their grandchildren some day.
As for the groom who told me this story? His wedding went off without a hitch.
Ten years ago when I had hip replacement surgery, my dear friend Julie Kauflin offered to swap houses with me for my recovery since her home (unlike mine) had a master bedroom on the first floor. Even though I didn’t take her up on her offer, it’s a perfect example of Julie’s heart for hospitality.
Julie loves having people in her home: whether a couple or a large group of people, whether planned or spontaneous, for a short stay or a long visit. She’s a warm and creative hostess who makes it seem effortless—even though you know she’s invested much time and effort to make you feel welcome. Julie embodies that well-known Spanish saying: “Mi casa es su casa.”
Earlier this summer, Julie wrote some thoughts on “Intentional Hospitality” for a group of pastors’ wives. Her heart to serve and practical ideas were so encouraging that I asked permission to share them with our girltalk readers and she graciously agreed. So, without further ado, let me turn it over to my good friend, Julie.
“Intentional Hospitality”
by Julie Kauflin
Ah Summer… longer days, freer schedule, no school…it’s time to fire up the grill, have some folks over, and enjoy sitting out on the deck. I love summer! Can you tell? But if you’re like me, the summer can slip by in spite of all my best intentions. Please join me as I make some intentional plans, and exercise my desire with actual hospitality.
First things first, let’s talk to our husband about our desire to have some folks over.
“What days can you see this working?”
“How often would you have faith for having people over?”
“I’ll try to stay within the budget, but could we possibly find any money that we could add?”
He says maybe 2 times a month. Perfect…I have faith for that! I’ve realized that it helps me to include people in what is already in place. So, with our extended family coming over every Sunday…let’s start with adding people in to that mix. I’m already cooking, so let’s add a few more! We get the word out to singles, “come on over around 2:00.” It has been so much fun, we’ve built relationships, offered counsel and given the lonely a place where they feel part of a family.
Sundays I typically plan for 12 to 16 people. Since I get home from church later…I do some prep on Saturday, dessert and salad, marinate the chicken. Then I plan something quick and easy.
Some quick and easy meals have been:
Casseroles in the oven on time bake.
Chicken on the grill. (Lots of different marinades to try, or toppings for the chicken brings variety and flavor.)
Shish kabob
Hamburgers
Crock pot barbeque.
I’ve started planning on having appetizers out as I’m cooking. This has really helped people feel relaxed and welcome right from the start. Nothing fancy…chips and salsa, artichoke dip from Sam’s. We always have a cheese plate with crackers. I walk in from the meeting…start the grill and grill chicken. My girls start setting things out, set the table, and begin offering drinks.
The other times that seem to work for us are Friday nights. These will be more specific. We know we have the slot, so we keep our eyes and ears open for people we don’t know or people we want to deepen our friendship with. Maybe just a couple or a family. With a smaller gathering I feel more freedom to make some dishes that may be new or more labor intensive. I love to cook, so any chance to do something new is an adventure for me. Also with a smaller group we can really invest in this relationship, drawing them out and finding out about them.
Hospitality has been one of the biggest blessings our family enjoys. It has been so rewarding to see our family chip in, in a relaxed, unhurried fashion to prepare for having people in our home. Now I get the joy of seeing my married daughters and sons have a heart that welcomes others in to their homes, with joy.
[More from Julie later this week…]
2009 at 5:04 pm | by Janelle Bradshaw
Thanks to Danielle for supplying us with a monster friday funny!
Back here Monday,
Janelle for the Mom, Nic and Kess
After reading your post about The Monster Under the Bed, my daughter expressed to me that she was afraid to play alone in her room. I used this time to exhort her and share with her that yes, her fear is real, but our enemy has been crushed and we know that Christ has the victory over sin and death.
So, last night we were playing Tickle Monster, a fun and silly made up family game and when she was tickled she screamed, “Jesus!! Crush Mommy!”
There is an interesting little phrase tacked on to the command to show hospitality in 1 Peter 4:9. We’re to do it “without grumbling.”
I find this rather humorous. It’s as if Peter knew this was going to be a temptation for us and so he put that little modifier in there. He ups the ante on us. It’s not enough to do hospitality—we must do it without grumbling. We must do it cheerfully.
This hits close to home for me. Especially during the exhausting “Three Hours Before Small Group Meeting” choreography: Dinner has to be made and served, dishes cleared and washed, kids fed, read to and in bed, foundation applied to the dark circles under my eyes and perfume sprayed to mask clingy household smells, coffee made, snacks laid out, bathroom wiped clean (almost forgot!), ice bucket filled and—whew!—smile ready when the first person walks through the door fifteen minutes early.
(All show times begin at 4:15—on good days. Tickets are free if you promise to help.)
The minute everything is ready and people walk through the door, they see my smiling face. What they don’t see is that I’ve spent the last three hours fretful, complaining, and anxious. But my family sees. And God sees.
News flash: Hospitality is work! It requires sacrifice of time, energy, and even finances. So how do we practice hospitality cheerfully instead of begrudgingly?
We remember the why.
More on this next week. In the meantime, keep the great recipes and ideas coming!
My three-year-old Caly often wakes up screaming in the dead of night. Jolted out of sleep, I run to her room as fast as I can only to be greeted with the same two words: “I’m scared.”
“What are you scared of Caly-girl?” I ask
“I’m just scared,” she whimpers.
A few hugs and kisses and she’s happy to be tucked back in to bed.
Well do I remember my own night-time fears as a child. Just ask me about my lobster dream sometime. It still gives me shivers.
So how do we help our small children deal with middle-of-the night fears?
Dr. Russell Moore—himself a father of small children—recently offered this insightful answer:
“The kids know—they instinctively know—that they’re living in a universe in which something’s gone awry. It’s not our job—as parents, or as Sunday school teachers—to disengage that. It’s our job to come in and to provide an answer to that. Yeah, you’re living in an enchanted world. Yeah, you’re living in a haunted world. You’re living in a world haunted by demonic powers. That’s exactly right—what you deeply fear is indeed the case… Your worrying about the monster under the bed isn’t unreasonable; there’s a monster under the fabric of the cosmos. Instead, we give them a story that provides the only comfort that really is lasting comfort; it’s a comfort that the enemies have been defeated.”
I am going to add a few words to my middle of the night hugs and kisses routine. Yes, Caly-girl, we live in a scary world, but we don’t need to be afraid. The monster has been crushed. And the One who crushed him, He’s right here in this room.
HT: Between Two Worlds
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