girltalk Blog
2008 at 4:35 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
God tipped buckets of rain on the northeast United States this past weekend. My kids were both sick on Mother’s Day and on my birthday (yesterday) they gave me their colds as a present. Did I mention it was still raining? (Cue mournful violins, please.)
In the afternoon my sweet husband took the kids out while I read a book and watched the news. Cyclone in Myanmar. Earthquake in China. Tornados in the mid-west. I saw an interview with a man whose home was destroyed by a twister. Miraculously his entire family escaped, but he lost everything that he owned.
Nothing like the severe trials of others to put my own (lack of) trials in perspective. “Compared with what I deserve to be, how happy my condition!” a wise man once said.
I deserve to be sick with a cold and to have it rain on my birthday. I deserve to have a tornado rip through my house. I deserve to have my family die in an earthquake. In fact, I deserve far worse! I deserve the wrath of God poured out on my sins forever and ever.
Oh, but my receivings are so infinitely better than my deservings (Valley of Vision, “The Mover”). For God sent his Son, Jesus Christ to bear His wrath in my place. Instead of what I deserve, I am the daily recipient of His love and mercy and grace. He works all things for my good. And I have a home with Him—free from suffering—to look forward to forever.
What a glorious gift God has given to me!
2008 at 3:15 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
“Examples do strangely charm us into imitation” observed the Puritan Cotton Mather. “When we read the lives of them that excelled in holiness, though they were persons of like passions with ourselves, the conviction is wonderful and powerful.”
Last week we read of women who “excelled in holiness” and for me the conviction was “wonderful and powerful.” Judging from your emails the same is true for you.
Tina considered her example as a mother:
I leave this week with a new challenge “How am I sharing Christ with my children every day? Do they see Christ in my attitude or do they see someone who is grumbling and discontent about the tasks God has ordained for her day? What is their view of God because of what they see? Is He a joy or a burden?”
These women never had the opportunity to influence many from a platform, but still quietly touched the lives around them for Christ because of how they lived each day. Because you shared their stories, they have now touched so many more. Thank You.
Karen’s thoughts turned to her daughter:
Praying about our daughter’s future, college major, gifts she might have, ways to direct her, and then reading about these ladies, that’s what I want for her! How do you major in being a grandma? What college offers that? Everything else seems superficial to loving and laying your life down for your Savior and others.
Finally, I think Cynthia represents many of our “new grandma” readers:
Just want to say how much I am inspired by these current tributes. I was never close to either of my grandmother and now that I am a grand-mother I am trying to find my place in it all. These stories are urging me on in my new role. Thank you so much! I’ve been moved to tears.
Thanks to each of you who shared the wonderful example of your grandma with all of us.
2008 at 10:05 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
Last May, my “Grandy” was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. After seeing a couple of doctors, she was given the news that she had just 4 months to live. We were devastated, but she wasn’t. She told us that her desire was to die without any surgery or anything to prolong her life because she, at 72 years old, was ready to meet Jesus. Our family was shocked and overwhelmed with grief. She has always been the rock in our family - the person everyone went to with their problems and their good news. The person who faithfully pointed her family members to Jesus. The person who served my grandfather for over 50 years of marriage and made sure that everyone knew how much she loved him. The person who prayed for every member of her family every day. I can’t tell you what a blessing it is to know that someone is calling your name in prayer every single day!
And just as she had sought to glorify God with her life, her prayer now was to “glorify God even in death.” Rather than viewing cancer as a tragic burden, she embraced it as God’s good will for her life. When I was at her home, not long after the diagnosis, she said to me, “Dianna, what can be greater than meeting Jesus? I get to finally meet my Savior, who died for me!” I stood in awe the first time I heard her speak those words because I knew only God could grant her such faith in the midst of such suffering.
We lived about three hours apart, and since I was in my last trimester of pregnancy, I couldn’t see her as often as I liked. But we continued our weekly talks on the phone. I was struck by how she continued to think of others and to see God’s hand even during the worst of her sickness. During one of our phone conversations, I broke down and she comforted & ministered to me saying, “Dianna, don’t cry for me. Remember where I’m going. But until I get there, know that I will pray for you until my last breathe.” When Hospice began coming at the end of July, she endured some of the more humiliating trials associated with terminal illness. She never grumbled. With sincerest gratitude she told me, “Isn’t God good to me in sending people to help me?” It reminded me of one of my favorite things she often said: “I believe God has been better to me than anyone else!”
Grandy didn’t live the 4 months the doctor had predicted. She died on August 14th, exactly one week before my first child was born. I have never experienced such grief and sorrow as with her death. But I grieve for my loss - not hers. She is with her King and although I desperately wanted her to meet her first great-grandchild, the Lord knew what was best. As much as Grandy wanted to see my first baby, she wanted to see her Savior more.
She often reminded me that she just had “feet of clay.” But those feet of clay left a path of obedience, faithfulness and godliness for me to follow for which I am eternally grateful. I still miss her so much, but I grieve with hope for I know she is worshiping our Savior and one day, I’ll worship with her!
Dianna Culbertson
2008 at 6:23 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
My grandmother, Nora Virginia Sloas, met my grandfather, James Alvin Roe, when they were both students at what was then Eastern State Teacher’s College in Richmond, Kentucky. They married in June of 1931, and my mother Jean, their only child, arrived in 1932. That health issues prevented Grandmother from having any more children was a source of lifelong regret.
As a child I saw my mother’s parents for only one week out of every year, when we made a summer trek to their tiny town near the Virginia/North Carolina border. Though our long car trip invariably turned into a five-hour bicker-fest between my brother and me, all our strivings ceased upon entering Grandmother Roe’s simple but lovely home, where peace prevailed.
It was always orderly and clean. Nothing was ever out of place or lost. No one ever seemed in a hurry. There were no angry words or arguments to be overheard. My grandparents treated one another with love and mutual respect. Their deep Christian faith permeated their lives and spread its fragrance wherever they went. When staying with Grandmother and Granddaddy, we recited Bible verses together, and had some sort of devotional or prayer at most meals—which were served on lovely dishes and which included succulent offerings from their well-tended vegetable garden. My grandparents shared the gospel with my siblings and me regularly.
Grandmother Roe told me jokes and stories at bedtime, and often she would let me fall asleep listening to her precious LP recording of “The Sound of Music”. She forgave me when I wrote with red pencil on her white chenille bedspread and when I threw a dart at my brother (despite the fact that I had been earnestly warned against committing both of these foul deeds!) True, she served us some strangely unfamiliar vegetables (to this day I detest okra) but there was something comforting and stable about being in her home.
Upon becoming a Christian at age 15, I began to realize the wonderful heritage I had received from my grandparents. I knew that my conversion had likely been a fruit of their years of faithful prayer on my behalf. One of my most cherished recollections of my grandmother occurred several years after my grandfather died. I was then 24, a college graduate working at a job I desperately disliked, pursuing a career I emphatically did not want. I deeply desired marriage and motherhood, but nothing seemed to be happening. So I wrote my dear grandmother a letter and asked if she would join me in praying that my husband would arrive on the scene—soon! I wish I had saved her return letter (a sad casualty, no doubt, of an over-zealous cleaning spree) but I remember it vividly. In it she told me that she had been praying for my husband since I was born. She agreed to pray on a daily basis. However, she also gave me some wonderful advice that left an immeasurable impact. “Your grandfather” she wrote, “was the greatest man I ever knew. He loved and served the Lord with all his heart. Don’t settle for anything less than God’s best when considering marriage.” The rest of the letter was a testimony to the faith of my grandfather and the joy of living life with a godly husband. Her words were both exhilarating and sobering. I determined to try to become the kind of woman that such a man would want to pursue.
Fast-forward twenty-two years. Next month, my husband and I will celebrate our twenty-first anniversary. Yes, we were married a little less than a year after I sent that letter to Grandmother Roe—a reminder that the effective prayers of a righteous grandmother avail much! Geoff and I had been friends and had served together in various ministries in our church for several years, and of all the single men I knew, he was the one I respected most. I couldn’t believe it when he asked to court me—but that’s another story. I had the joy of introducing him to Grandmother Roe during our engagement, and after our wedding she told me, “Every time I’m around him and see His devotion to God I like him more.” The Lord had done “exceeding abundantly beyond all that we asked or imagined.”
In the years that followed my wedding, Grandmother’s physical health deteriorated to the point where she needed daily medical care and could no longer maintain her spotless home and extensive gardens. She would not allow my parents to care for her in their home, as my mother’s own health was poor. Our week-long stays at Grandmother’s house were replaced by short visits to the cold, twelve-by-twelve institutional cubicle of a room where she lived out her last years, surrounded by sick, frail, witless, and often hopeless elderly men and women. Her sharp mind, her unshakable faith, her ready humor, and her grateful heart never faltered. She lived to meet only one of my five children (and two of my sister’s seven). During her final days at the rest home, she redeemed the time that God apportioned to her by reading the Word, writing encouraging letters, and praying for the salvation of her great-grandchildren.
Carol Sawyer
2008 at 3:10 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
I love my Nana! She was one of the funniest, most thoughtful, and coolest grandmothers that you will ever meet. She loved to spend time with her grandchildren and she especially loved to see them have fun and enjoy life. She loved to teach her grandchildren how to sew, garden, cook, play Double Solitaire and just love living life. She was a strong believer in the saving work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and she lived every day in light of eternity.
When my Nana was diagnosed this past August with pancreatic cancer, she knew that she was about to face the most challenging circumstance in her life. But, in light of that she lived every single one of her last days for God’s glory and never gave into the pain. I never heard her complain once about her intense stomach pains and her extreme discomfort. She loved her children and grandchildren even through the intense pain.
Right before she was diagnosed with cancer, my family and I were visiting Chicago. My nana and grandpa came to visit us and then had us stay in their house on our way home, even though my nanny was in extreme pain. Even though she was very uncomfortable, she still walked around the entire city with us and even went to the American Girl Place. She was so mindful of others and she always considered others better than herself. During a time of intense pain, she went out of her way to love my sisters and me and spent quality time with us. I was able to visit her about a month before she passed away. She was not feeling very well that weekend, yet she made sure that she spent every moment that she could with my cousin and me. Some of my favorite memories of my Nana are from just spending time with her on that trip!
My Nana went home to be with her Savior last November. I miss her terribly, but I know that right now she is rejoicing around the throne and praising her Savior without anymore pain, sadness, suffering, or sin. She is sitting at his feet marveling in the glory of our Savior and experiencing his love which is like none other on this planet.
Nanny – I love you so much and I can’t wait to once again hear you sing praises to our Savior and to see you honor Him with all that you have! It will be a marvelous day when I get to walk through the gates of heaven and once again run into your arms and get the biggest and bestest hug ever!! I love you Nanny!
Corinne Glab
2008 at 12:41 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
My Grandma Graham passed away in April of 2002, but I have 3 special memories that I will always keep tucked within my heart. The first one took place when I was in elementary school. As a young girl, I was always burdened that Grandma was not a Christian. Any time someone asked for prayer requests, I almost always asked prayer for Grandma’s salvation. One day, the Holy Spirit convicted me that I needed to do more than just pray for her. I needed to confront her about her relationship with Jesus Christ. I decided to write her a note. We were in the car and I wrote on a piece of paper, “Do you know where you would go if you were to die today?” Grandma read the note and told me, “We don’t talk about things like that.” Today, I would be very sorrowful if that were the end of my story, but thanks be to God it is not.
Next, I would like to jump ahead quite a few years to October of 1996 when Grandma was 88 years old. My husband, Greg, and I had been married a little over a year and Mom called to tell me that Grandma wanted to tell us something. As soon as Grandma said “hello,” I could hear a difference in her voice; it had a peaceful quality that I really can’t explain. Grandma told me that she had accepted God’s gift of salvation and she was saved! There is one thing about that conversation that I distinctly remember. Grandma asked me to forgive her. I was dumbfounded! She had just asked for forgiveness from God. What did she need my forgiveness for? She was sorry that we had prayed for her for so many years. She said that she wished that she had gotten saved earlier. What a wonderful work God had done in her life!
That year, after Christmas, Grandma wrote Greg and me a thank you note for our gift. What a blessing that note was to me! In it, Grandma told us that she had been praying for us as we traveled back to South Carolina. That may seem like an insignificant thing to you, but considering the fact that many years earlier, it was this same woman who told me that we don’t discuss spiritual things, it was a blessing to have her praying for me. Only the work of a powerful God could change a life like that!
Katie Habegger
2008 at 11:18 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
This is about my “mother in love” as Elizabeth Elliott would say.
Dorothy Tedesco, or as most call her, “Dotty” is one of the kindest and godliest women I know. The best part of this is that she is my mother in love! I remember wondering what it would be like to have a mother-in-law, even before I knew my husband! Any fears or worries I may have sinfully entertained were quickly eschewed by the first welcoming hug from this godly woman. My Mom, as I call her has never stopped praying for me or my children (or her children or 
other grand children)! She has told me that she prayers for them every day and asks the Lord to give them a double portion of the blessings she has enjoyed. My Mom is a woman of wisdom and prudence. She looks ahead, sizes up the needs to come and then goes and does something about them. She is a woman who is a doer; her time is given towards serving her husband, working with her hands on blankets for orphans, knitting caps for babies in hospitals, baking, sending notes, or calling on a neighbor, or befriending anyone who is her vicinity! (She is “Nana” to many non related folks!) She serves on Sundays as an organist both in a church and at times a retirement home. Of course all this is done as unto the Lord. She is always grateful for the ability to “pass on to others what the Lord has given” (to her). Her response when we thank her demonstrates her humility; she will quickly explain that she is merely passing on what someone did for her! My Mom has a legacy that reaches far and wide! May this be part of what she will one day hear of her children praising her!
I love you MOM!!!
Lucy
2008 at 5:10 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
More than a sewing lesson
By Bethany Emerson
Thursday afternoons were always my favorite growing up. I’d make sure my school assignments were done in time, brush my straight blonde hair and peek out the window just hoping to catch sight of the silver bumper of my Grandmother’s car.
“She’s here!” I’d run outside to greet Grandmommy. Thursday afternoons were our special dates together.
Grandmommy’s car always smelled perfectly brand new, and today was no different. We chatted about school, clothes, my siblings or cousins on the drive to her house. Once we arrived, I went the special corner of the living room set up for our lessons. I’d pull out my sewing box and Grandmommy and I would delve in to simple patterns, beginning with her teaching me how to sew straight lines and building to sewn Christmas ornaments and on to the pair of shorts with bright pink strawberries that I wore proudly for many summers, my treasure from my times with Grandmommy.
After sewing lessons we’d sit on the couch and read books together, me reading one page and Grandmommy the next. We read Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter and others. I’d always be hunting for a good book to read with her.
When a chapter or two had been read, we’d go into the kitchen and I’d help Grandmommy make dinner. The meal was always well planned, balancing vegetables and salad with some type of starch and meat. My two favorites were her sweet and sour meatballs and her chicken divan and biscuits with honey. I’d cut up the vegetables and sprinkle them on top of the salads, always in individual bowls, while we talked about life.
As I look back on those afternoons together, I realize that I not only have good memories and the ability to stitch in straight lines and thread a bobbin, but the living example of a woman who trusts the Lord and loves her home. Grandmommy, always joyful being busy at home, has cooked and cleaned and made chores like folding laundry a joy. She even made teaching me how to making a bed without a wrinkle or crease a fun experience. She never complained about the many tasks of being a wife, mother, grandmother and now great-grandmother. Instead, she provided an example to me that being a homemaker is not second-rate to a career; it’s a full life of privilege and joy!
Grandmommy has taught me about trust in the Lord (and still does!). I’ve learned this from her through our many conversations as she’s always extremely real with me. During sewing lessons or afternoons together now, I know I can talk to her about anything. There are days when college projects are overwhelming and I call Grandmommy’s cell phone. She’s always encouraging and affirming of God’s strength as she tells me she has been praying for me. When my Mom was fighting cancer, Grandmommy ran our house, did the laundry, and was a mom to me and my four siblings in many ways with a peace that helped me to trust God. When my Granddad passed away in 2003 after 56 years of marriage to my Grandmom, she was grieved but had hope. She tells me continually of God’s faithfulness in their lives.
I walk away from every interaction – and memories of sewing lessons – encouraged because my Grandmother has lived a life of contented joy in an unchanging God, whether matching socks or threading needles. I am so grateful to God for my Grandmother, my friend!
2008 at 1:32 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
Today I want to honor the Lord as I honor my precious Grandma, Elma Gertrude Paramore, who died last February after having progressively worsening dementia over several years.
I was 19 when she died and I was only 9 when I first remember noticing the signs that her memory was fading. Even though I haven’t gotten the chance as I’ve matured more to know my Grandma for who she really was, I can honestly say that the Lord has used her life immeasurably in my life.
What I remember of my Grandma from the time I knew her before her mind began to decline was that she never told me she couldn’t talk when I would call her every day as a child, she was always helping take care of one of the kids in my family (there are seven of us) or cooking or finding a different creative way to serve, she occasionally took me with her to visit the women in her church homebound ministry, and she really loved people…of any age or type, but especially my Grandad. She was a beautiful vessel set apart for the Lord’s purposes.
Our family moved in to help my Grandad take care of her when I was thirteen and were there with them until we had to move her to a nursing home when I was seventeen. In that time, I was able to watch as my parents loved her and faithfully took care of her day in and day out. I was able to watch as my Mom hoped in Christ on days when she would realize things like that my Grandma couldn’t cook any of her great dishes anymore or that the very one who taught her how to write her name couldn’t write her own name anymore. I was able to see my Dad truly take on my Mom’s side of the family as his own. Then, in the later stages of her dementia when she was moved to a nursing home, I continued to learn valuable lessons through her life.
As I watched my Grandfather daily go and feed her,not merely out of duty, but rather delight…always kissing her as he came and as he went, I saw a deep picture of the faithfulness of the Lord and what commitment is. As I myself would go and visit Grandma and leave desperately trying to hold back the tears, in those moments I learned that this world is not my home and pleaded that the Lord will let me live my life for His name and not mine. She continued to be used by the Lord for noble purposes…a beautiful vessel though her physical body would have begged to say otherwise.
Through my Grandma and through seeing the way my parents and Grandad and many others responded in this time, I have seen that life matters. In an age when abortion and euthanasia are the popular ways to handle “problems”, I see that the worth of a life is not determined by what they seem to be offering to society. Our worth is determined by the Creator who has made us fearfully and wonderfully in His image. I praise the Lord that even though I did not get to know much of who my grandmother truly was, I know more of who He is through her life…which, I’m sure, is what she really would have wanted. May we, as God’s people, be willing to be used by the Lord to make His glorious name known in whatever way seems best to Him.
Sarah Malone
2008 at 10:35 am | by Nicole Whitacre
“Last night we had about 30 girls [K-2] on the AWANA game floor and did they scream!! I don’t wear my hearing aids on AWANA nights for that reason. They magnify the noise and make my head feel like a balloon. The joys of old age. But I thank the Lord all the time for the health and strength He gives me to keep serving Him, and not be a burden to my family. God is so good! …. I can’t think of any more earth-shaking news. Keep your eyes and hearts on the Savior, and don’t let the world shape you into its ungodly mold. Keep Christ first in your hearts and lives and you will have the abundant life Jesus has promised us. John 10:10b. Love, Me”
These notes are from a letter that I received from my grandmother just this morning. She celebrated her 93rd birthday last November. She has been serving the Lord in a low income community ministry for over fifty years. Prior to my grandfather’s death 6 years ago she used to write all the members of her family a weekly letter of encouragement (one letter that she would photocopy and mail to each of her six children and 32 grandchildren). However, her discipleship ministry to inmates through written correspondence-type Bible studies has increased to such a level that now she is only able to send us monthly letters!
While the letters don’t come so often, knowing that she daily prays Colossians 1:9-11 for us, and her 48 great-grandchildren, is a gift of immeasurable grace. It is my prayer that I might be so faithful to point the eyes and hearts of my four children, and any grandchildren and great-grandchildren God might give me to the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Grandma, how I thank God for you!
Teren Sechrist
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