girltalk Blog
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Our little contest has come to an end. We only wish we were able to post more of your great suggestions. However, the time has come to announce the winner. Drum roll please…
The winner of the first official GirlTalk Valentine’s Day Contest is…Kathy! This woman’s ideas for expressing her love for her husband and children all day long is no doubt a memory they will always cherish. Congratulations, Kathy! We’ll be sending you a gift certificate good for one romantic dinner. And thanks again to all of you for your creative ideas. May our husbands, children, family members, friends, and even the unbelievers in our lives, know we cherish them today!
2006 at 8:46 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under
Marriage
In previous posts, Mom and Kristin reminded us of the importance of prizing our husbands. How do we do this?
I think we can take a bit of wifely advice from two eighteenth-century women. Sarah Edwards (pictured left) was the wife of the uniquely brilliant theologian and pastor Jonathan Edwards, and Eliza Pinckney was wife to Charles Pinckney, a prominent South Carolinian lawyer. Sarah, it has been said, made it her goal to “study to suit” her husband. Eliza echoed these sentiments when she resolved, “To make a good wife to my dear husband…to make it my study to please him.” Cokie Roberts, Founding Mothers (New York, NY: Harper Collins, 2004), p. 7.
Study to suit, study to please. This mentality runs contrary to the modern idea of a wife as an independent creature who should be free to pursue her own ambitions. And it goes against my natural, selfish tendency—which is to study to suit none other than myself. However, we should all strive to imitate these women’s godly model.
What are words we can say to our husband that would most bless and encourage him? How can we shape our lives, our priorities, and schedules around serving them? What are little preferences—about our appearance, the home, our life-style—which we can adjust to their liking? What is one way we can change to please them most?
Whether we’ve been married for thirty years or thirty days, let’s not assume we have achieved wifely perfection. Let’s go back to school if you will. Let’s study to please our husbands. Let’s closely observe them, take notes, and even ask them: “how can I suit you better?”
The result: our husbands will feel, and know that they are the most important person on this earth to us. And we will follow in the godly footsteps of wives such as Sarah and Eliza.
A reader wrote to ask if we: “had any bright ideas for all of us single girls on Valentine’s Day. I am trying to avoid sitting at home (or at a friends) and watching ‘chick flicks’ all night.” Good thinking!
Actually, another reader, Emily, wrote in with an idea. She and some friends, “had a Valentine’s dinner party where all the guests came wearing pink, the table was beautifully decorated with rose petals and individual boxes of chocolates, and we enjoyed a lovely meal together. It was such an encouragement for us to have fun and celebrate doing life with each other! It certainly showed us that Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples. So I’d challenge single girls to plan something exciting as well.”
Also, we recommend you take a peek at Solo Femininity before Tuesday. Carolyn McCulley has survival tips for “National Singles Awareness Day” but more importantly, several of her recent posts provide God-centered thoughts for singles. She writes:
“My dear single friends, as much as we do wear this label about our marital status, this is not our true definition. In view of eternity, our current singleness is not very important. What is priceless is that we’ve been found by perfect love. Having been captured by perfect love, our hearts are His to keep and His to define. That’s why we can joyfully accept this gift of grace in being single today.”
Well, you ladies have simply buried us under a mountain of creative Valentine’s ideas! There are too many for us to post on the main page of the blog. However we’ve included some of our favorites in a document (for wives only) to download.
We did want to share Kathy’s idea for blessing her entire family on Valentine’s Day. And don’t forget, we’ll announce the winner tomorrow!
As for Valentines Day itself, I do have some traditions that my husband and children USED to think were silly, but now look forward to. The day starts with heart shaped pancakes. My mom started the pancake tradition when I was a little girl, and STILL makes them for my dad…they just celebrated their 53rd anniversary!! Place settings for breakfast and dinner from dishes to glassware to table linens are combinations of pink and red. Each person in the family gets a some little gift from me at both breakfast and dinner: a card, a small nosegay of flowers, a tulle wrapped bundle of candy, homemade heart-shaped cookies, a stuffed animal with a Valentine theme, some type of “heart” jewelry for my daughter—you just never know what might appear on the table. Of course, there are surprises in everyone’s lunch: notes from me telling them how much I love them, napkins in a heart theme, a heart-shaped muffin perhaps. I’ve even been known to cut sandwiches into heart shapes. I also try to do something special for each person. This year, I will surprise each family member by doing a chore that usually belongs to them. I’ll try to pick the chore that each person MOST DISLIKES, and enjoy the looks on their faces when they go to do the chore and discover the chore is already done. Let’s not forget ending the day by sneaking some red foil wrapped Hershey’s Kisses onto each person’s pillow.
This Friday Funny from Abby sounds suspiciously like a few grandsons (and one daughter) I know…
We’ll be back on Monday (that is, unless Janelle goes into labor).
Carolyn
for Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle
In Jack’s Sunday School Class the kids were sharing what their favorite fruit was. Some said, “banana, some said apple, some said orange”.
Then the Sunday School Teacher asked Jack what his favorite fruit was. It’s amazing how our hearts can be revealed in two small words . . .
Jack’s response was . . . “fruit snacks.”
I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I do feed my son real fruit.
He just loooooves his fruit snacks and those two small words run through his mind all day long.
As a mom of three young, active boys, I could relate to Mom’s post yesterday and the temptation to make my role as a mother a priority over my role as a wife. This story of “Michelle” from Mom’s book, Feminine Appeal is a wonderful reminder to me of the importance, and the blessings of prizing my husband above all others!
Michelle poured her life and energy into her two small children. However, the demands and joys of motherhood crowded out her love for her husband. Friendships and service in the church even took precedence over her relationship with Peter. They didn’t have any major problems, but their marriage certainly wasn’t exciting anymore. Intimate communication and even daily expressions of affection had dwindled. After nine years of marriage, their relationship more closely resembled an amiable business partnership. Michelle was so busy raising her daughters, she didn’t even notice.
Michelle had ceased to “prize” her husband. There was a time when Peter was the most important person in her life, but over time her children and friends had become more significant.
Michelle was unaware that she was putting her children before her husband until several faithful friends from church brought it to her attention. “It was like waking up,” she said. “I was blind to it.” Michelle immediately began to make changes. She started by praying each day that God would give her greater love for Peter. But she didn’t stop there. She began to express affection in creative ways—through cards and letters. She took time to think about things that would bless Peter. She sought his opinion first instead of going to her friends. In short, she made her relationship with her husband her highest priority.
Her actions had a tangible effect. As a couple they began to pursue interests and activities that didn’t involve the children. “Things went so well,” Peter said, “that we began to look for more opportunities to steal away together and have fun and enjoy each other.” For their anniversary they spent a weekend alone. “The most enjoyable part was simply enjoying one another and our newfound romance. We had a blast!”
Let’s be wives like Michelle and do whatever it takes to prize our husbands. Let’s make every day Valentine’s Day!
This wife has got the creativity thing down. Make sure to check out her second idea if you are engaged…
Mark had been working a lot of extra hours and I took the initiative of planning a “surprise” getaway. It would necessitate Mark taking a day off work, so I found his boss’ email address and requested Mark have that Friday off, which he graciously gave. I kept it a secret till the night before, where I joyfully told Mark he did not need to go to work the next day. It was a wonderful trip and to this day we have fun recounting all our memories.
For those who are engaged…For our first Valentine’s Day as an engaged couple, I made up a basket of 18 gifts/cards to coincide with the 18 weeks we had from Valentine’s Day to our wedding. They ranged from love notes to coupons (to be used once we were married, i.e. breakfast in bed). For one week, I put a cd in there with Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” song. Each Friday, from Valentine’s on Mark had a countdown to our wedding day.
2006 at 10:36 am | by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under
Motherhood
No, no, nothing to report as of last night. We just wanted to inform you that whenever Janelle goes into labor we will be “live-blogging” the event. Don’t worry, no graphic details! However, should she go into labor over the weekend or even in the middle of the night we’ll begin posting regular updates on her progress. If this little one comes in the early hours of the morning Eastern Standard Time, many of our international friends will be the first to know!
So keep checking back for updates. Baby Bradshaw should be arriving soon!
2006 at 11:30 pm | by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under
Motherhood
Yeah!! Little girl made more progress this week. Today’s doctor visit found me at 2 centimeters and almost 80% effaced. My doctor is pretty convinced that I will not make it to my due date (which is the 20th). This report gave me fresh faith for walking, and I dragged Mike on a walk around the block right before dinner, despite the fact that it felt like 30 below outside (Thanks, Babe, you are the bestest!). This evening has definitely found me in the worst pain yet, and my faith for baby to come SOON is increasing! I will keep y’all updated.
This may be a future idea if your love story took place miles away from home, but you may be able to pull it off this year if your romance unfolded locally. Mandy, we hope it won’t be too long before you can take your husband on this memorable trip!
I have been thinking about this Valentine’s Day idea for quite a while and when my husband’s seminary training is done and finances allow it, I am going to give him this gift….
My husband and I met at college in the mountains of southeastern Kentucky. It is a beautiful area and we were married there as well. My idea is to give my husband a date/weekend of all the beginnings and milestones of us.
The first thing we would do is go back to our college campus on, say, a Friday afternoon. When my husband first noticed me, he said I had a lime green L.L. Bean backpack that he could see all the way across campus. To remind he and myself of those carefree college days when love first began to bloom, I would surprise him with a picnic lunch on that same lawn where the sparks first flew.
Secondly, my husband proposed to me in the parking lot of my dorm. It was the sweetest memory. He had my engagement ring in his sock and he was so nervous he was going to drop it that he was sweating and couldn’t wait any longer to pop the question. His original plan was to take me to a romantic spot and sing me the song that he had written me with his proposal in it. It didn’t quite work out that way mostly because of me and my chemistry homework that kept him waiting for hours longer than he had anticipated. Anyhow, the backup plan included opening my car door and telling me that he had finally gotten the Captain Crunch fan club membership card (David is quite the goofy guy) that he had been jokingly telling me for months he was going to join. When he opened the door, he pretended to accidentally drop the card and when I turned around, he was on one knee! It was not what he had originally planned and he was a little disappointed later on when he proposed with the song, but it was perfect. That night, I would take him to the dorm parking lot where he proposed and we would enjoy a big bowl of Captain Crunch together.
That night, we would drive 30 miles south into Tennessee to stay in the same room that we stayed in the night we were married. I think it would be so amazing to share and dwell upon what God joined together that day in 2002 and where He had brought us to 4 years and 3 children later. We are so blessed!
The rest of the weekend I would leave up to my husband what we did. Whether it be attend services in the church we were married or have dinner in the hotel where we celebrated our wedding reception, it would be up to him. The possibilities would be endless. It would certainly be a weekend to remember!
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Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Our little contest has come to an end. We only wish we were able to post more of your great suggestions. However, the time has come to announce the winner. Drum roll please…
