girltalk Blog
There are 22 days, 9 hours, 59 minutes and 28, 27, 26 seconds until Christmas Day. Before this fact compels you to rush off to the mall, I want to remind you of a verse that can produce peace in your soul and mine this holiday. It’s a familiar one; a verse we are often quick to quote and slow to apply, and not one we usually associate with Christmas. It’s Proverbs 3:6: “In all your ways acknowledge him.” Charles Bridges’ comments provide fresh insight into this little verse. Consider them carefully.
“Take one step at a time, every step under Divine warrant and direction. Ever plan for yourself in simple dependence on God. It is nothing less than self-idolatry to conceive that we can carry on even the ordinary matters of the day without his counsel. He loves to be consulted…Consider no circumstances too clear to need his direction. In all thy ways, small as well as great; in all thy concerns, personal or relative, temporal or eternal, let him be supreme. Who of us has not found the unspeakable ‘peace’ of bringing to God matters too minute or individual to be entrusted to the most confidential ear?”
Proverbs 3:6 is our go-to verse when we’re faced with a big decision. We are often quick to acknowledge the Lord and seek His guidance in extraordinary situations. However, we assume we can “carry on…the ordinary matters of the day without his counsel.” God calls this self-idolatry and pride.
How often I live as if I don’t need God in order to clean my bathroom, or discipline the boys, or find that perfect gift for my mother-in-law, or put up Christmas decorations—as if I am sufficient in and of my self to handle most things! My lack of dependence upon God is pronounced in these “ordinary matters.”
And yet, as Mr. Bridges points out, “God loves to be consulted…no circumstance [is] too clear to need his direction!” He wants us to bring to him all our little decisions, our minor frustrations, our small dilemmas. He doesn’t just tolerate our questions—God LOVES to be consulted! Hasn’t he commanded us to acknowledge Him in all our ways?
The Christmas countdown may tempt you to anxiety, but as Christians, we are truly meant to experience peace in our souls—not just at Christmas, but every day, the whole year through. This precious, “unspeakable peace,” comes when we bring to God all of the ordinary matters of our day.
So what were you going to do next? Before you get up from your computer, pause, read this verse and quote again, and acknowledge Him. Unspeakable peace can be yours for the rest of the day.
On Tuesday, Nicole talked about depending on God in the midst of a busy holiday season. As a mom with young kids, mine is a busy season regardless of whether it’s a holiday or not. Christmas only adds to the feeling of “being overwhelmed” and “having no time.” It only increases the temptation I already face to rationalize away my quiet times.
Even though I might not be able to have extended times as I did when I was single or newly married, I must not neglect my relationship with the Lord simply because I have young children. Whether it means getting up early or taking time over the boy’s naps, I must make every effort to seek God’s face and receive His grace.
Recently, I’ve begun “tracking” my times with the Lord. I write down how much time I spend with the Lord each day, or a “0” for none at all. This is not a legalistic attempt to earn God’s approval. Rather, it is to help remind me of the importance of seeking God and to help keep me from neglecting my relationship with Him.
On this topic, I want to encourage you to read an article by Donald Whitney, author of Simplify Your Spiritual Life.
He both empathizes with the unique challenges a young mom faces, and yet encourages us not to neglect our pursuit of the spiritual disciplines. But even if you don’t have young children, this is a timely article for all of us going into the Christmas season: “Do What You Can.” And do it all in the shadow of the cross.
Charisa wrote in a while ago to ask “Do you have any encouragement or practical advice for married women with no children who work full-time?”
She goes on to explain: “I have a strong desire to be home caring for my husband and having children. I want to have time to fold my laundry and vacuum my floors, volunteer, make meals for friends in need, babysit my niece, and spend time with other ladies. But I’m often too exhausted to do so. How do I practice biblical womanhood in a season where my husband has requested me to work?”
There is so much that could be said on this topic. I know that working full-time and caring for a home is intense. I’ve been there. For what they are worth, here are a few of my thoughts…
First of all, your desires to work in your home, care for a family, and serve others are wonderful. God gave you those desires. He is the one who appointed women to manage the home (1 Tim. 5:14, Titus 2:5). So it is good and right that you desire to be a home-worker. However, if your husband needs you to work outside the home for a season, then you can be reassured that by serving your husband, you are fulfilling your call to be his helper.
It is important that you both recognize that this decision to work full-time will come with limitations: you won’t be able to serve your husband in all the ways you desire right now. However, you are no less his helper than the woman who is at home full-time. We must all resist the temptation to compare ourselves with others. We must trust that God’s plan (and timing) for each of us is best—even if it isn’t what we had in mind.
Remember that God’s grace is available to you. He has called you to serve this particular man at this particular time in this particular way. That means he has particular grace available to enable you to complete this task. He has promised to equip you with everything you need for doing His will (Heb. 13:20-21).
Faith in God’s sovereignty and His strengthening grace will enable you to help your husband in humility, dependence, and joy. (In fact, we’re in the midst of a little series on these topics, which will continue tomorrow.)
And on a practical note, here are three strategies that served me:
1. Keep things simple. Look for ways to streamline your home responsibilities (shopping on the weekends, freezing meals, etc.). In humility, recognize that you won’t be able to do it all and accept the limitations that come with your season. This doesn’t mean you’re not being a good wife—you’re just serving your husband in a unique way!
2. Consistently re-evaluate. The home is the priority for us as women, and Steve and I always viewed my working full-time outside the home as less than ideal. Therefore, we periodically re-evaluated our financial situation to determine if I could work part-time or come home. And I would encourage you and your husband to consider when you might be able to be home full-time.
3. Seek counsel. Find other women who have worked (or are working) full-time and ask for practical (and spiritual) suggestions. Make sure your husband is informed about the challenges you face juggling both work and home responsibilities. Encourage your husband to get counsel from your pastor regarding this decision to have you work full-time and the implications for your marriage and home-life.
There is so much more that could be said. Most of all, I pray God will give you grace to say with the Psalmist: “The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places” (Psalm 16:6).
2005 at 9:52 am | by Janelle Bradshaw
I think I figured out what may eventually put me into labor…basketball. Yes, I said basketball.
No, I am not a sports fan in general, but when it comes to watching my
little brother play, I feel like one of those fans who paints their
faces or dyes their hair the color of their favorite team. You see,
because of the large difference in age, Chad has always been more like
a son than a little brother to my sisters and me (although he fulfills
that little brother role quite well, with all of the pranks he likes to
play on his big sisters!).
Chad had his first basketball game of the season last night, and it
was a nail-biter. It came down to the last minute and we were trailing
by just a couple of points. I could hardly handle the pressure. I was
so nervous. The refs kept making all of these calls, none of which I
understood. But I’m happy to report that we won! Go Cougars!
At the end of the game, I leaned over to my mom and said, “This is
what will bring this little baby into the world…basketball!”
2005 at 12:47 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
It happened again this Thanksgiving. Domestically inspired, I did way too much. Not content with “plain old” pies (my Thanksgiving meal assignment), I made pumpkin cream cheese pie with a homemade cream cheese pie-crust and a black-bottom banana cream pie that required you to “chill for 30 minutes” after every step. Then there was cranberry sauce, seven-layer dip, mint squares… Enough said.
It happened again this Thanksgiving. I neglected my times with the Lord. I failed to depend upon Him by practicing the spiritual disciplines. I self-sufficiently rushed at my to-do list: chock full of really-do-matter and even more really-don’t-matter items and pushed aside (as our Lord told Martha) the one thing that matters most: sitting at His feet.
It happened again this Thanksgiving. I resolved afresh that Christmas would be different. I don’t want to spend the next three weeks “running around like a chicken with my head cut off” (I’ve never actually seen one, but I imagine the resemblance is probably striking). This doesn’t mean I won’t work hard on behalf of my family. But I want to do so, expressing dependence on God by a faithful pursuit of the spiritual disciplines. Charles Spurgeon describes the way I want to live: “We ought to be Martha and Mary in one: we should do much service, and have much communion at the same time. For this we need great grace. It is easier to serve than to commune.” (Morning and Evening, January 24)
It happened again this Thanksgiving. But I pray, by God’s great grace, it won’t happen again.
2005 at 3:19 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Now that we have barely shut the door on Thanksgiving, the Christmas season is at our door with a loud, demanding knock. And with that knock comes a whole new set of responsibilities that can be even more daunting than the ones we just completed: Making lists, shopping for presents, wrapping those presents, putting up Christmas decorations, trimming the Christmas tree, addressing Christmas cards, attending Christmas parties, baking cookies, preparing for out-of-town guests…. Not to mention, we must squeeze all of these tasks into the already-full-schedules of our daily lives! How is it possible for a woman to do everything she needs to get done this time of year?
I still remember the wise and helpful counsel my husband CJ shared with me many years ago when I was having one of those “I just can’t get it all done” breakdown crying sessions. When he finally got the chance to speak, he said: “Carolyn, only God completes His to-do list. We are not God. We are finite creatures with serious limitations. Therefore we need to humble ourselves by accepting our limitations and draw upon God’s strength to simply do what we can.” CJ’s advice not only helped me then, but continues to benefit me to this day, especially with the Christmas season on my front doorstep.
Here are 3 simple ways we can be mindful of our limitations as we make our to-do lists this holiday:
1. Separate the-really-do-matter items from the really-don’t-matter items—of course doing the really-do-matter items first.
2. Simplify the really-do-matter items where possible (i.e. purchasing already-prepared cookie dough rather than making Christmas cookies from scratch).
3. Trust God for all the things on the list that don’t get done.
Let’s honor God by answering Christmas’s knock at our doors this year with humility—joyfully accepting our limitations and simply doing what we can.
Janelle: Welcome, ladies to our post-game coverage of the 2005 Mahaney Turkey Bowl. The teams were led by captains Kristin Chesemore and Chad Mahaney. Chad’s team had Mike and Janelle Bradshaw and Carolyn Mahaney while Kristin’s team had Brian Chesemore and Steve and Nicole Whitacre. It was intense!
I’m standing here with the permanent quarter back, C.J. Mahaney. Mr. Mahaney, what was your perspective on today’s game?
Mr. Mahaney: It was yet another close game. The score was tied at 28 when darkness began to settle in over the field. Appeals were made to end the game due to darkness and frostbite. But I don’t believe in tie games, so a unique “sudden death” format was created: a one-on-one challenge between Kristin and Chad. Each player was allowed 4 downs and the game would go until someone scored. On first down, I threw a long pass to Kristin who made a spectacular catch. But Chad came back with a vengeance over the next three downs, denying Kristin a touchdown. When Chad’s turn with the ball came, Kristin took a rather violent approach to her defense, mugging Chad as he attempted to catch the winning pass. Though not allowed in college or pro football, this kind of defense is permitted by the ladies only in the Turkey Bowl. But in a dramatic fashion, on fourth down, Chad caught a long touchdown pass and years of frustrating and humiliating defeats came to an end.
Janelle: Thank you, Mr. Mahaney. Let’s turn to our winner, Chad Mahaney, and see what he has to say…
Chad: I want to congratulate Kristin Chesemore and her team for a hard fought battle on the field today. It is possible, that my sister’s proud comment prior to the game played a role in the outcome of the game.
Janelle: Thank you, Chad, and congratulations on your win. I tried to secure an interview with Kristin Chesemore, but she declined to comment. (Just kidding. In a fine display of sportsmanship, she offered her opponent a warm congratulations.)
Thank you, ladies, for joining us this evening. For further information on today’s game, scroll down to view some pictures of the competition.
A meal before the big game
No comment
The men preparing to warm up
Can you say “FREEZING?”
Huddle
Serious about their game
Almost over
Victory!
Here are a few snapshots of our Thanksgiving day…
Breakfast with the nephews (affectionately known as “the crazies”)
Nicole’s cranberry soup…I mean sauce
Cooking time with “Kess” and “Nic”
Observe this amazing display of multi-tasking
Before…
Andrew talking to his cousin
Happy Thanksgiving, Jack!
Sweet Liam
Just before the big feast
Nephew time
After…
The men helping with dishes
The happy end to a wonderful day
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! This is the big Mahaney holiday of the year. While many couples trade off spending Thanksgiving/Christmas with one side or the other, we have chosen to focus on Thanksgiving which allows our daughters to make their in-laws a priority at Christmas.
For anyone who is interested, we will be posting a photo-diary of the Mahaney Thanksgiving over the next several days. We’re sure to provide you with a few laughs, and you’ll want to find out who triumphs in the great football rivalry: Kristin or Chad!
We could think of no better way to conclude our Thanksgiving Countdown than with a quote from our favorite Mr. Charles Spurgeon, on gratitude to God:
“The fear of a man who really knows the love and goodness of God, will be somewhat of this kind: He will fear lest he should really be, or should seem to be, ungrateful. ‘What’ he asks, ‘can I do? I am drowned in mercy. It is not as though my ship were sailing in a sea of mercy; I have been so loaded with the favour of the Lord that my vessel has gone right down, and the ocean of God’s love and mercy has rolled right over the masthead. What can I do O Lord? If thou had given me only a little mercy, I might have done something, in return, to express my gratitude. But oh! Thy great mercy in electing me, in redeeming me, in converting me, and in preserving me, and in all the goodness of thy providence toward me;—what can I do in return for all these favour? I feel struck dumb; and I am afraid, lest I should have a dumb heart as well as a dumb tongue; I fear lest I should grieve Thee by anything that looks like ingratitude.”
May your Thanksgiving be full of moments of gratitude as you contemplate the drowning mercies of our God!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone,
Carolyn, Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle
Did you know that it was actually a woman to whom we owe this holiday? Enjoy the following story of the origin of Thanksgiving.
“The Woman Who Brought Us Thanksgiving”
by Harold Ivan Smith
Most Americans associate Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims. Fifty-one survivors of the Mayflower gathered to celebrate after their first fall harvest. Governor William Bradford proclaimed it a day of thanksgiving.
But during the next century and a half, thanksgiving was an irregular celebration, varying from community to community, dependent at times upon the religious and political climates and the attitudes of individual governors.
Then the victory of the Americans over the British at Saratoga in October, 1777 prompted the Continental Congress to set aside December 18 as a day of thanksgiving and praise to be observed by all the colonies.
On September 28, 1863, Sarah Josepha Buell Hale wrote President Abraham Lincoln urging him to make the annual Thanksgiving “a national and fixed Union Festival.” By this time, she had built the circulation of her magazine, Godey’s Ladies Book to 150,000. Hale’s letter could not be ignored. Nor her editorials. Her annual Thanksgiving editorial in Godey’s opened with Nehemiah 8:10: “Then he said unto them, ‘Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy unto our Lord; neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength.’”
Hale argued, from her strong Episcopal faith, that if Nehemiah set aside a time of thanksgiving in a time of national stress, “in a time of national darkness and sore troubles, shall we not recognize the goodness of God never faileth, and that to our Father in heaven we should always bring the Thanksgiving offering at the ingathering of the harvest?”
Lincoln weighed the matter and decided that the timing was right for something that would promote national unity. He ordered Seward to draft the proclamation.
Early on October 3, Lincoln read the proclamation: “The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and helpful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature that cannot fail to penetrate and soften the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.”
Seward wrote, “No human counsel hath devised, nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gift of the most high God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.”
Lincoln commended Seward for a project “well done” and then focused on the last paragraph: “I do, therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens.”
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