girltalk Blog
Last week we received two powerful answers to our book club question on the life of Ruth. We saved these answers to share with you this week. These two women are both enduring unimaginably difficult circumstances. We hope their faith and hope in God will encourage you to see the goodness of God in whatever trial you might be facing.
First, we will hear from Kriscinda Davis, who, along with her husband Luke and their three children are much-loved members of Covenant Life Church. Brian and I have observed this couple prosper spiritually in the midst of the most significant of trials. They are actively trusting in God’s wisdom and goodness. May we all emulate Kriscinda’s example of faith in our Savior.
“Nothing happens by ‘chance,’ but God is always behind the scenes, working all things together for the good of His people (Rom. 8:28). There is no such thing as ‘luck’ or ‘fate’ for believers.”
Given this truth, tell us about a circumstance in your life where you now see God was working “behind the scenes” for your good?
I read Ruth with much anticipation. I love the book of Ruth and couldn’t wait for the question, as it would provoke my heart. Provoke it did. Our family is in the midst of a difficult situation. Heart ache and suffering have been present for the past 8 months as my youngest son, Micah was diagnosed with a very rare brain tumor, ATRT. Our little man has undergone 2 major brain surgeries, 6 rounds of high dose chemos and been in and out of the hospital at least a dozen times. So when I read Ruth and then the question that followed… tell us about a circumstance in your life where you now see God was working “behind the scenes” for your good? I was dumb founded. I couldn’t think of how God was at work behind the scenes and this bothered me for I knew he was and is at work. I talked with my husband and some ladies in my care group and as we talked my eyes were opened. I had been so focused on the current trial that I had taken my eyes off the cross and forgotten all his goodness. I was able to thank the Lord and by his grace remember and see glimpses of how he is at work for good in this present trial. Let me share them with you…
-He is at work in our hearts for good, teaching us to trust Him, showing us that grace and mercy are truly new each morning. He is molding and shaping us.
-He is showing us great love through himself and others—giving strength that is not ours.
-He is at work in our kiddos for good. Micah is becoming a tender little man (I think because of all he has gone through). Braeton is learning to care for others in difficult times.
-By his grace the gospel is going forth and seeds are being planted.
In years to follow I am sure we will look back and see more of the Lord’s goodness and sovereignty in this situation, but until—we will seek to remember and remind ourselves of all his wonderful benefits. He truly does work all things for good even when it is seems hidden from our eyes. And thanks be to God for the many faithful examples we have to look to… one of which is the wonderful example of the Bowers family. To God be the glory in each and every path for therein lies abundant grace and goodness.
2006 at 12:59 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
If you find yourself with a little extra time on your hands this Labor Day, why not pick up Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood? Too big, you say? Well, the sheer size of this book can be a little intimidating. So we want to recommend four of our favorite chapters. Even if you only read these selections, it will be worth the price of the book.
1. The Foreword by John Piper is, as its title suggests, “For Single Men and Women (and the Rest of Us). Want to understand singleness from a biblical perspective? Look no further.
2. Chapter One: “A Vision of Biblical Complementarity” is also by Dr. Piper. He offers definitions for masculinity and femininity that are biblical, practical, and inspiring. Frequent review of this chapter is suggested.
3. Chapter Twenty-Two: “The High Calling of Wife and Mother in Biblical Perspective” is my personal favorite. Follow the journey of one woman as she seeks to understand her role as a woman—not defined by cultural standards but measured by Scripture. Dorothy Patterson writes:
“I determined in my daily quiet time to read through the Bible systematically with a new purpose: to determine God’s message for me personally as a woman, a wife, and a mother….My life and goals and perspective were forever changed.”
4. Chapter Twenty-Five: “The Essence of Femininity: A Personal Perspective” is by none other than Elisabeth Elliot:
“A Christian woman’s true freedom lies on the other side of a very small gate—humble obedience—but that gate leads out into a largeness of life undreamed of by the liberators of the world…”
Four chapters…now that’s not too hard, is it? Have a relaxing Labor Day!
Hopefully this mommy can laugh now, but I doubt that’s what she did when she first discovered what her little darlings were up to!
Thanks to Christina for sending us this picture.
Enjoy your weekend!
Carolyn
for Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle
There were so many exciting and moving answers to last week’s question—tell us about a circumstance in your life where you now see God was working “behind the scenes” for your good?—that it was a tough decision. However, we thought that Christina Gillham’s story most closely parallel’s that of Ruth’s. Here it is:
Just like Ruth, the story of how God brought my husband into my life started out with difficult circumstances. I was starting my fourth year of college, helping to organize Bible Studies for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. During an event designed to reach out to students, a young man handed me a love letter saying that “God had told him that I was the one he was to marry”. It turned out that this man was not a student, but a homeless schizophrenic man who now knew my address, since one of the Bible Studies was at my apartment. Over the next few weeks he dropped off letters at my doorstep, in the middle of the night, that became increasingly obscene and threatening. I decided to call the police.
I was advised to get a restraining order and not walk alone. God met my needs abundantly. My roommate’s father was a lawyer and filed the paperwork for me free of charge. Twelve other believers lived next door, underneath or across from me in our apartment complex. They took turns walking with me to class and going to the police station with me to drop off more letters as they came. At one point three young men slept on my living room floor with baseball bats “just in case”. During finals’ week when my friends were busier and my life was more stressful, my dad took a week off of work and came to be with me.
During this time I met three police officers who were handling my case. I would find out later that all three were godly Christian men. Two were my father’s age and viewed me as a daughter in Christ. One was a good-looking single guy. He ended up being the one who came and arrested the man who was stalking me.
Over the summer break, the stalker was released from jail. I ended up having several conversations with the young police officer about it all. Each conversation would start out “Hello Officer” and end with “Good-Bye Sean.” By the time I returned to school, at a different address, the homeless man had written me one last letter saying that, “God had told him to move on.” The return address was in another state. The case was closed. Sean helped me move into my new apartment and took me out to dinner, our first date. We were married 10 months later.
Last year when I was talking to my son about Romans 8:28 he looked at me and said, “Mommy, that’s just like how you and Daddy met! God used it for good!” Amen to that. He sure did!
We all have stories of God’s faithfulness to pass along to the next generation. Let’s be faithful to tell them of the goodness of the Lord.
Moving on to Chapter Five, Dr. MacArthur notes that, “The value of persistent and passionate prayer is one of the central lessons from Hannah’s life.” So your question is: “Tell us about a time when you witnessed the value of persistent and passionate prayer—in your own life or someone else’s life?”
May you be inspired and provoked as you read about Hannah’s extraordinary life!
2006 at 1:38 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Why do we make such a big deal about promoting biblical womanhood here at girltalk? Because…
“Today the primary areas in which Christianity is pressured by the culture to conform are on issues of gender and sexuality. Post-moderns and ethical relativists care little about doctrinal truth claims. These seem to them innocuous, archaic, and irrelevant to life. What they do care about, and care about it with a vengeance, is whether their feminist agenda and sexual perversions are tolerated, endorsed, and expanded in an increasingly neo-pagan landscape. Because that is what they care most about, it is precisely here that Christianity is most vulnerable. To lose the battle here is to subject the church to increasing layers of departure and surely it will not be long until ethical departures (the church yielding to the pressures, for instance, of women’s ordination to the pastoral ministry) will yield even more central doctrinal departures, like questioning whether Scripture’s inherent teaching about manhood and womanhood renders it fundamentally untrustworthy for the Christian life.”
(Bruce Ware, professor of theology at Southern Baptist Seminary – quoted in “Preface (2006)” by J. Ligon Duncan and Randy Stinson, Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem.)
“The church has been called to counter and bless the culture, not to copy and baptize it. All too often our churches reflect, rather than constructively engage, worldly culture. Perhaps worst of all, many evangelical leaders claim that if we want to reach the lost, we must become like them. This is a recipe for disaster. Dorothy Sayers refuted this notion: ‘It is not the business of the church to conform Christ to men, but men to Christ.’ That is precisely the challenge we face in this area of biblical manhood and womanhood.”
(J. Ligon Duncan and Randy Stinson – “Preface (2006),” Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem.)
“Someone is teaching women principles of womanhood. Is it the church, or the world?”
(J. Ligon Duncan & Susan Hunt, Women’s Ministry in the Local Church)
We yearn for the answer to be “the church.” That’s why.
2006 at 3:18 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
My husband returned home from Chicago last night where he was participating in The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) board meeting for several days. He came back bearing gifts, one of which I am holding in my hands right now (well actually, it’s lying on my lap since I am typing). It’s a brand new book. Or should I say, it’s a brand new version of the classic book—Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. If you don’t have “The Big Blue Book”—as the first one is affectionately referred to—then you must get this one, now with an attractive gold and brown cover. Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem, and published by our dear friends at Crossway, Lane and Ebeth Dennis. (They are the brave souls who took a huge risk to publish my two books—Feminine Appeal and Girl Talk, and CJ’s book, Sex, Romance and the Glory of God. We are forever in their debt.)
To whet your appetite for Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, here is a quote taken from the Preface (2006) written by J. Ligon Duncan, Ph. D. Senior Minister, First Presbyterian Church and Randy Stinson, Ph. D. Executive Director, Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood:
“Two decades ago few would have believed that American women today (some of them mothers and wives) would be fighting in the American armed forces in the deserts of Iraq. Although there are occasional protests against this newly regnant egalitarianism—even at the secular level—there is no question that the culture is predominantly egalitarian. Against this backdrop, the re-release of Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism (RBMW) is most timely, and it will continue to serve a vital role in shaping current evangelical attitudes about gender roles in the church and home.”
This book isn’t just for pastors or theologians. It’s vital that each of us ordinary women thoroughly understand and hold fast to a biblical view of womanhood in face of the relentless egalitarian pressure of our culture. Read this book and you will be informed, and inspired to the high calling of womanhood.
2006 at 2:47 pm | by Kristin Chesemore
Every new bride walks down the aisle in joyful anticipation of her married life. However, for many women, sadly, the hope of an ideal, harmonious, marriage quickly fades. Maybe their husband is neglectful and unkind—consumed by work or other interests. Maybe their husband persists in sinful patterns of lust and pornography. Or maybe their husband has ceased to love them. Whatever the situation, they may feel disillusioned, alone, and full of despair.
In her book, Feminine Appeal, my mom offers words of comfort from God’s Word:
“If you are in an exceptionally trying situation with your husband, I encourage you to pour out your heart to the Lord of love. He knows, He sees, and He hears; and though your tears may be lost on your husband, they are not lost on your heavenly Father. He is the compassionate Lord who urges us to draw near to Him so ‘that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need’ (Heb. 4:16).”
This week, on the marriedlife blog, my husband Brian has also sought to extend care and hope in a series entitled “Finding God in my Difficult Marriage.” Among the questions he answers are:
If you’ve found yourself asking one or more of these questions, let me urge you to read these posts, as well as the concluding post: “Armed with Faith in my Marriage.” They will encourage you in the midst of your marital difficulties, help you draw strength from God, and recognize the power of faith in His promises.
2006 at 12:00 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
If you read the tributes that we posted for Mother’s Day last May, you will undoubtedly remember the one composed for Kathy Bowers by her daughter Jeanie. After a long and courageous battle with cancer, Kathy went home to be with the Savior on August 21, 2006. Her memorial service was held Friday night. The way she prized the glorious gospel—both in her living and in her dying—profoundly affected each of us who knew her. We post Kathy’s tribute again today to freshly inspire each of us to “run with endurance the race that is set before us looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Heb.12:1-2).
To the Bowers family: Our hearts and prayers are with you. Kathy will be deeply missed!
A Tribute to Kathy Bowers
I want to honor my mother, Kathy Bowers, for teaching me the most important thing in life, that Christ has taken care of my greatest need by dying on the Cross for my sins, and that is what truly matters. You see, my mom has only weeks left to live. She has been heroically battling cancer for the past 7 years and unless the Lord chooses to heal her, she will soon be home with Him. My mom’s life beautifully portrays a deep trust in the truth of the Gospel in ALL areas of her life. As she faces death, she has not even a hint of fear. She knows she is going to be with the Lord, and when she talks about it, she does so with a huge smile and great excitement. Mom has suffered severely this past year, often in intense pain, yet has never once complained. She tells others often that she deserves God’s wrath and anything else is pure grace! She is a perfect example of joy in the midst of suffering. She trusts God completely—he is her solid rock that she stands on in trying times and because of that she has a steady faith that does not waver with the changing circumstances.
Mom lives with the truth of the Gospel in full view every day. There have been times when she has been in the emergency room in extreme pain and she has shared the Gospel with the nurse caring for her. She recently had a party held in her honor at which she spent twenty minutes sharing with her 200 guests that she has no fear in the face of death, that she is going to the place she was created for and it is because she has put her trust in the Gospel. She then shared the Gospel with all who were there. Mom has been sharing the Gospel with unbelievers her whole life—from women in her neighborhood, to orphans in Mexico.
Mom has lived the 50 years of her life on this earth serving heroically and focusing on others. She has impacted hundreds through her example, but I believe my family has been the most blessed by her. She has faithfully loved her husband and three children. She has faithfully served us. She has laid down her life for us and made us her priority. She has set an amazing example for my sister and me to follow as a wife and mother.
Mom has also faithfully discipled my sister and me. She has set an example for us of a women deeply in love with the Lord and His Word. She always told us being in the Lord’s Word was her favorite part of the day. Even now, when at times she is so fatigued that she cannot read, she asks others to read to her. She has faithfully met with my sister and me week in and week out, caring for our hearts and teaching us to be godly women. She has always made herself available to talk to us, dropping whatever she is doing. Even now that she is sick, she makes a point to still ask about our day and our devotions. Without hesitation all three of her children would call her both their Hero and their best friend.
As Mom’s life on this earth is coming to an end, it is evident to all that this woman ran the race hard and has glorified the Lord with her life. She is leaving behind a legacy of faith that will be legendary and inspire many. She has taught us how to rejoice in suffering and to live in light of eternity. She has taught us that placing our trust in the Gospel is truly what matters and that we should yearn to be with the Lord in Heaven.
Mom, I love you so much. Thank you for the godly woman you are. I will deeply miss you when you go home to be with the Lord, but praise Him that we never have to say goodbye. A crown of righteousness is awaiting you!
Jeanie Lechner
This week we want you to enjoy someone else’s Friday humor. Have a good laugh!
May God’s grace be with you this weekend!
Carolyn
for my girlies—Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle
“Rahab is extraordinary precisely because she received extraordinary grace.” This statement by Dr. MacArthur from page 16 describes all of us. Whether you were saved while still a tiny thing or after many years of rebellion, your story is truly extraordinary.
Thank you for the many stories of extraordinary grace you sent our way. It’s always tough to choose. Our question from chapter 3, “How does ‘what you once were’ magnify the glory of divine grace?” was vividly captured by Stacy Reaoch:
I love to look back in my life and remember where I was before God divinely intervened! It is always a wonderful reminder of His sovereign grace in my life. I was a freshman at Michigan State University and the ways of the world were knocking at my door. Although I had lived a fairly tame, “nominal” Christian life up until this point, things were changing. I was enjoying the freedom of college life—partying, flirting, and I was being increasingly influenced by my liberal classes. I took a feminist theory writing class, which quickly became my most beloved class. After writing a paper entitled, “I Am a Feminist”, my professor kept me after class to tell me we were kindred spirits. As you can imagine, I was all about “a woman’s right to choose!” and constantly wanting to battle the supposed oppression of women.
Yet at this same pivotal time in my life, the Lord was at work. Although I lived in an enormous freshman dormitory complex with very little Christian influence, God sovereignly placed me next door to two Christian girls. They began sharing the Gospel with me and invited me to a Bible study. At the same time I was dating my high school sweetheart (now my husband) who truly was a Christian and attending Wheaton College—the clear opposite of MSU! God had used Ben and his family to plant seeds that were now being watered. It’s so interesting for me to go back and see one of the major issues the Lord used to draw me to Himself. My increasing interest in the feminist agenda was in conflict over what I knew some Christians believed. I remember attending a “relationship panel” put on by women in Campus Crusade. Oh how I pitied those women who believed in submission and adhered to such strict Biblical principals! I tried to debate them with the minute bit of knowledge I had. I loathed the texts in Scripture like Ephesians 5 and 1 Timothy 2. They were so offensive to me and everything I thought I stood for.
Nonetheless, God used my battle against biblical womanhood to draw me to Himself. I began attending the Bible study, Crusade meetings and churches to discover what the Bible was really saying. I wanted to understand to prove my points about the oppression of woman. But God used this battle to engage my mind in His Word and His purposes for my life. After much debate, prayer, and time spent with godly women who invested in me, I placed my trust in Christ for the forgiveness of my sins. As I began to grown in my knowledge of the Lord, I learned to embrace the beauty of biblical womanhood. I’m not saying everything happened at once. I still debated my future husband over why women couldn’t be pastors (after all, he was called to pastor so why couldn’t I?!) I struggled with difficult texts about the roles of women but eventually embraced the complementary design God created for us. Ten years later spreading a passion for God’s glory through embracing biblical manhood and womanhood is one of my greatest desires!
I sometimes wonder what my life may be like if God had not intervened. Oh, how much He has spared me from in this life and the next! I praise God who called me out of darkness into His marvelous light! To His name alone be glory forever! Amen.
Thank you Stacy!
Next week’s question, from the life of Ruth is based on a quote from page 77:
“Nothing happens by ‘chance,’ but God is always behind the scenes, working all things together for the good of His people (Rom. 8:28). There is no such thing as ‘luck’ or ‘fate’ for believers.”
Given this truth, tell us about a circumstance in your life where you now see God was working “behind the scenes” for your good?
Can’t wait to read your answers!
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