girltalk Blog
2006 at 4:39 pm | by Janelle Bradshaw
Yesterday, Nicole considered the inspiring topic of “The Realm of Domesticity” and the extent of our influence as wives and mothers. Reading her post gave me fresh faith for my role in the home (not to mention my potential influence on the next presidential race). I have to say that Nicole’s post did something else for me as well. It reminded me of how different my sisters and I are. When Nicole is considering the topic of her next post, look where she ends up—presidents and legacies. We all read and leave with fresh excitement for our role as women. I on the other hand, consider the topic of my next post and end up at ice cream. Yes, ice cream.
Lately, I found myself considering the difference between the green mint chocolate chip and the white mint chocolate chip ice creams. These ice creams each have a specific purpose. You see, the green should not be eaten alone. It should go into an ice cream pie or sit on top of a cone. Milkshakes are okay too. The white kind should only be eaten alone. It doesn’t need cones or syrup; it stands by itself in both taste and consistency. Have you ever tried sticking Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip (the white kind) into an ice cream pie? Disaster. It simply doesn’t work. On the other hand, try making yourself a bowl of the green kind with no accompaniment and your dessert experience will be less than satisfactory.
Back to my earlier point- Nicole, Kristin, and I are different, but that is one of the many reasons we enjoy each other so much. We love to laugh with (and at) one another. Nicole keeps me learning and I keep her laughing, and Kristin keeps us both in line. Sisters make wonderful friends!
2006 at 12:50 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
The following witty exchange between John and Abigail Adams is a fitting addendum to my previous post. I know I’ve mentioned her before, but Abigail typifies the potential effect of this “realm of domesticity.” Through her husband John and her son, John Quincy, she shaped the lives of two American presidents, all from her Braintree farmhouse. It is the opinion of John Adams’s biographer David McCullough, that “Abigail Adams was one of the most remarkable, admirable, wise Americans of all time.”
In one of her many letters to her husband, Abigail makes a request:
Abigail: And by the way, in the new code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I desire you would remember the ladies, and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors have been. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could.
John: We know better than to repeal our masculine systems. Although they are in full force, you know they are little more than theory. We are obliged to go softly. And in practice you know we are the subjects. We only have the names of masters.
Though certainly written tongue-in-cheek, John Adams’s reply is an extraordinary acknowledgement of female influence! How can you humbly exert your influence for the good of your family and the glory of Christ today?
2006 at 5:31 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
Yesterday’s dual-applause for domesticity reminded me of a fascinating email we received several months ago from one of our readers, Alisha. She wrote to tell us about “the realm of domesticity,” an early-American idea she learned about in college:
“It stated that men are responsible for all that is decided in the world at large (politics, business, voting for leaders, preaching etc.) but that women are responsible for things that occur in the home (training the children, furnishing, meals, clothing etc). The philosophy argued that woman did not need the right to vote because they were considered to have the ability to influence their family so that they would eventually vote along the political lines of the mother. The woman of the house was also assumed to vote similarly to her husband due to this influence, and therefore only one vote was needed. This essentially means that we, as woman, shape, influence and hence rule the world right from our home. We raise the next generation. My children will probably think as I do about the world. My son will go on to lead using those ideas. My daughter will pass those ideas onto the next generation. My influence will spread! What an awesome responsibility we have as women. What power we have in our hands! I only pray that God would help me to use that power and influence to His glory.”
Author Cokie Roberts concurs with Alisha’s understanding of history:
“There was [in 18th century America] an elaborate view of ‘spheres.’ The men were in the world, while a woman’s place was the house, the ‘domestic sphere’….The men handled relations with England—deciding whether to declare independence and what kind of government should be formed; the women handled pretty much everything else. That’s not to say that these women were unaware of the sphere outside their homes, quite the contrary. Their letters and diaries are filled with political observations.” Cokie Roberts, Founding Mothers (New York, NY: William Morrow, 2004), 14).
Now, we here at the girltalk blog are not advocating for Congress to repeal the 19th amendment. I for one am grateful for the privilege to vote. And of course I don’t condone the oppression of women.
The question I want to ask is this: In all the campaigns for “rights” for women, have we lost sight of the fundamental principle of a woman’s influence in the home? Have we forfeited our God-given calling to shape destinies for a seat at the conference table and a corner office?
Taken alone, the effect of a wife’s gifts and counsel upon her husband’s life-course is remarkable. But as Alisha rightly points out in her email, when we exercise our influence for the good of our children, our legacy will extend through many generations. Our influence will also be as wide as it is long. It will touch the life of every person our husbands and children and eventually grandchildren come in contact with. And so the effect of our domestic efforts multiplies. What mind-numbing power is resident in this realm of domesticity!
How should we respond to this weighty influence with which we’ve been entrusted? Alisha shows us how when she concludes: “I only pray that God would help me to use that power and influence to His glory.” Amen, Alisha. May God help us all!
On his radio show yesterday, the ever-courageous Dr. Al Mohler took on the issue of modesty in weddings. With the help of his wife, Mary, Dr.Mohler encouraged women to dress in a God-honoring way, and exhorted churches to give more attention to the appropriate way to celebrate the wedding ceremony as a service of worship. He and Mary graciously answered caller’s questions in a thought-provoking and Christ-honoring manner. We thank God for this couple and their commitment to the virtue of modesty in the church. We hope you’ll listen to this insightful program today. (To review our review our recent series on the heart behind modest dress, click here.)
2006 at 5:28 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Devoting our lives to domesticity would not be considered a worthy pursuit by the majority in our culture. However, a pastor from Hampstead, North Carolina and a homemaker from Gaithersburg, Maryland recently communicated thoughts that applaud all women who pursue this noble profession. And today, we wanted to pass along this article (HT: GenderNews) and this audio testimony (transcript here) for your encouragement.
2006 at 4:53 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
...is by none other than my handsome, wonderful husband, Steve. In fact, Steve started blogging before we did, and on Friday he celebrated his first year anniversary (Congratulations, my love!).
Five15—as in 2 Corinthians 5:15—is the name of the youth ministry here at our church that Steve has the privilege to lead. The five15 blog is one way for Steve to extend pastoral care and leadership to the parents and teens and model a redemptive use of this medium to teens who are bombarded by many corrupting influences on the internet. It’s also an outlet for Steve’s love for words and all things unusual.
Truth be told, one of the first things that attracted me to Steve was his love for reading and the English language. I mean, how can you not fall in love with a guy who reads The Federalist Papers to fall asleep at night and proposes with Shakespeare? So of course, I’m a little biased on this one, but I think he’s the best blogger around!
Variety is the main reason I love Steve’s blog. He posts on everything from chocolate milk and caesar salad and driver’s ed advice to “This Day In History” features and “Thursday Thoughts for Parents.” His posts challenge teens, encourage everyone, and make me laugh. And while this blog is directed to the teens and parents in our church, we at girltalk think it deserves a wider audience. It’s a great resource for youth pastors, teens and parents, and the rest of you just might enjoy it too!
So, girltalk readers, I’d like to introduce you to my husband, Steve. You can meet him here.
2006 at 12:44 pm | by Kristin Chesemore
We want to thank each and every one of you for the tributes you sent in to honor your mothers last week. It was painful for us not to be able to post all the tributes we received, but we took comfort from the fact that you were able to honor your mom yesterday. We hope all you mothers felt our respect and the pleasure of the Lord.
But there is a certain group of mothers whom I’ve been thinking about the past few weeks. They are the single moms. And my mother-in-law is one of them. Kaye Chesemore was also a mother of three active little boys like me. When she became a single mom, she had to take on a brand new job, and pursue her master’s degree at the same time. Although circumstances required her to work outside the home, she never sacrificed her care for her boys.
They each played sports and she found a way to attend all their games. She once told me that she took her textbooks everywhere in order to fit in her homework. All three boys took music lessons, had special birthday parties, and went to Pizza Hut with Mom every Friday night. They knew that she was always available to talk to them at any time.
Her sacrifice was great and her labor was constant. Many times it went unnoticed, but it has borne much fruit. Today her three sons have grown up to become godly men. All three have wives and sons of their own and all are serving the Lord. I have her to thank for my husband, and I am eternally grateful for what she has given to me.
So I want to thank and encourage all the single moms who sacrifice for your children like my mother-in-law did. It may be that your Mother’s Day wasn’t very restful because there was no one to make dinner or do the dishes for you. You might feel exhausted and helpless and alone. However, your labor does not go unnoticed by the Savior. He is your help and your strength, and He will surely bless your efforts to raise your children to glorify Him.
And may I encourage all of us to remember the single moms and their children? Maybe this week, take a moment to write a kind note to a single mom in your church, or make a meal for the single mom in your neighborhood, or begin to pray consistently for a single mom you know. These women are heroic servants, and we in the church should help carry their burdens.
We will celebrate Mother’s Day with Kaye (“Mimi” to my boys) this evening. What a joy it will be to thank her once again for the blessings I’ve received as a result of her faithful mothering. I pray that all you single moms will be encouraged this day!
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
2006 at 10:00 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
We want to close out our week of “tributes to mothers” with a tribute to our Savior, as expressed through the words of this song:
“I Will Glory in My Redeemer”
I will glory in my Redeemer,
whose priceless blood has ransomed me.
Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails,
and hung him on that judgment tree.
I will glory in my Redeemer,
who crushed the power of sin and death.
My only Savior before the holy Judge:
The Lamb who is my righteousness,
The Lamb who is my righteousness.
I will glory in my Redeemer.
My life he bought, my love he owns.
I have no longings for another,
I’m satisfied in him alone.
I will glory in my Redeemer,
His faithfulness, my standing place.
Though foes are mighty and rush upone me,
My feet are firm, held by his grace,
My feet are firm, held by his grace.
I will glory in my Redeemer,
Who carries me on eagle’s wings.
He crowns my life with lovingkindness,
His triumph song I’ll ever sing.
I will glory in my Redeemer,
Who waits for me at gates of gold,
And when he calls me, it will be paradise,
His face forever to behold,
His face forever to behold.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU!
From the moms here at girltalk,
Carolyn, Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle
(“I Will Glory in My Redeemer,” © 2001 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP). Sovereign Grace Music, a division of Sovereign Grace Ministries. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. North American administration by Integrity Music. International administration by Copy Care International. Used by permission.)
2006 at 5:16 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
I want to honor my mother, Kathy Bowers, for teaching me the most important thing in life, that Christ has taken care of my greatest need by dying on the Cross for my sins, and that is what truly matters. You see, my mom has only weeks left to live. She has been heroically battling cancer for the past 7 years and unless the Lord chooses to heal her, she will soon be home with Him. My mom’s life beautifully portrays a deep trust in the truth of the Gospel in ALL areas of her life. As she faces death, she has not even a hint of fear. She knows she is going to be with the Lord, and when she talks about it, she does so with a huge smile and great excitement. Mom has suffered severely this past year, often in intense pain, yet has never once complained. She tells others often that she deserves God’s wrath and anything else is pure grace! She is a perfect example of joy in the midst of suffering. She trusts God completely—he is her solid rock that she stands on in trying times and because of that she has a steady faith that does not waver with the changing circumstances.
Mom lives with the truth of the Gospel in full view every day. There have been times when she has been in the emergency room in extreme pain and she has shared the Gospel with the nurse caring for her. She recently had a party held in her honor at which she spent twenty minutes sharing with her 200 guests that she has no fear in the face of death, that she is going to the place she was created for and it is because she has put her trust in the Gospel. She then shared the Gospel with all who were there. Mom has been sharing the Gospel with unbelievers her whole life—from women in her neighborhood, to orphans in Mexico.
Mom has lived the 50 years of her life on this earth serving heroically and focusing on others. She has impacted hundreds through her example, but I believe my family has been the most blessed by her. She has faithfully loved her husband and three children. She has faithfully served us. She has laid down her life for us and made us her priority. She has set an amazing example for my sister and me to follow as a wife and mother.
Mom has also faithfully discipled my sister and me. She has set an example for us of a women deeply in love with the Lord and His Word. She always told us being in the Lord’s Word was her favorite part of the day. Even now, when at times she is so fatigued that she cannot read, she asks others to read to her. She has faithfully met with my sister and me week in and week out, caring for our hearts and teaching us to be godly women. She has always made herself available to talk to us, dropping whatever she is doing. Even now that she is sick, she makes a point to still ask about our day and our devotions. Without hesitation all three of her children would call her both their Hero and their best friend.
As Mom’s life on this earth is coming to an end, it is evident to all that this woman ran the race hard and has glorified the Lord with her life. She is leaving behind a legacy of faith that will be legendary and inspire many. She has taught us how to rejoice in suffering and to live in light of eternity. She has taught us that placing our trust in the Gospel is truly what matters and that we should yearn to be with the Lord in Heaven.
Mom, I love you so much. Thank you for the godly woman you are. I will deeply miss you when you go home to be with the Lord, but praise Him that we never have to say goodbye. A crown of righteousness is awaiting you!
Jeanie Lechner
2006 at 2:23 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Thank you for your truly excellent example of a Titus 2 woman. You have shown me examples of godly womanhood as a single parent, a married woman - in extremely difficult circumstances, and now, I am delighted to say as a betrothed woman. You have always demonstrated such faith, joy and love to me. Recently you bought me a fridge magnet that said “daughters are just little girls that grow up to be your best friend” and how this is true!
A few things come to mind - the Sunday afternoons when I was little and we would bake together - what precious times of fun and laughter, dancing around the kitchen with frying pans! Then when I left home you presented me with my very own folder full of handwritten recipes that we had cooked together. My husband now benefits from those, and is grateful!
Other memories I have are when I was involved in evening activities either at Church, Guides or Sea Cadets, and despite a busy job and home life you would drive me around, often touring the local villages to collect my friends. Thank you - I now fully understand how much effort it is to engage in evening commitments when you are working full time.
You recently moved to live near to me, and have given up a very well paid career as an acountant to work with disadvantaged and homeless people in Bedford (UK). The level of love, patience and kindness that you show them surpasses what many people show their own family, and how you relish the opportunity to share the gospel with them.
We were not a rich family in monetary terms, and we had some very difficult times at home, but I always felt rich in love and faith through your sacrifices and efforts that you displayed daily to me, and that I now try to emulate. Thank you for your example. I love you Mum.
Jenny Briggs
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