GirlTalk: conversations on biblical womanhood and other fun stuff

girltalk Blog

Sep 4

Back to School

2013 at 2:35 pm   |   by Carolyn Mahaney Filed under Biblical Womanhood | Motherhood

School days are upon us again. There will be broken pencils and slow computers, late night study-sessions and pop-quizzes, new friends and classmate conflicts, gifted teachers and “light bulb” moments, and maybe even a few tears. And there will be lots and lots of reading.

But more certain than any of the predictable moments of the school year is this truth: Surely [not maybe] goodness and mercy shall follow me all [not some] of the days of my life” (Ps. 23:6, emphasis mine).

“With God these qualities are not merely solid and dependable” explains Derek Kidner, “but vigorous—for ‘follow’ does not mean here to bring up the rear but to pursue.”

If you are a Christian, goodness and mercy pursue you “always” says Charles Spurgeon: “the black days as well as the bright days. Goodness supplies our needs, and mercy blots out our sins.”

Goodness is shadowing us in the halls of school or the kitchen table at home to provide all we need—strength, wisdom, perseverance and patience—to help us glorify God. And mercy is right behind, to pick us up when we fall, bringing pardon for our sins through the blood of Jesus Christ.

What a promise to take with us into the first days of school—and all the school days thereafter!

Sep 2

How to Rest on Labor Day

2013 at 3:11 pm   |   by Nicole Whitacre Filed under Biblical Womanhood | Time Management | Spiritual Growth

Labor Day is for many, a day to rest from work. But how do we find rest for our restless souls? Scripture, which is always saying things we don’t expect, tells us to find rest by walking.

“Thus says the Lord: ‘Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’” (Jer. 6:16, emphasis mine)

Rest for our souls is found when we search out and walk in the ancient paths, on God’s Good Highway. How do we do this? Through repentance and obedience to God’s Word. Our souls find rest when, by the power only available through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we obey.

This isn’t always the answer we want to hear. Like the original recipients of God’s message through the prophet, we often cross our arms and stand still. We want to find rest some other way than God’s way. Derek Kidner comments:

As for the compassionate offer of rest for your souls, it is brushed aside—for as sinners we do not take kindly either to God’s diagnosis of our restless state or to his remedy for it. That remedy…both here and in our Lord’s quotation of the last line (Mt. 11:29), is no rest-cure but a redirection: the blessed relief of stepping out along the right way. Jesus interprets this in personal terms of walking with him as his working partners (‘my yoke upon you’) and his pupils (‘learn from me’). ~The Message of Jeremiah, p. 46, emphasis mine

We find relief from the weariness of sin when we walk with God as his servants and his students. We find rest for our souls when we take a step of repentance for our laziness or anger, our anxiety or our judging and trust in the forgiveness that comes only through the atoning death of Jesus Christ.

So what good and ancient road of obedience do we need to take a step down today?

Let’s walk to get some rest.

Aug 30

Friday Funnies

2013 at 8:30 pm   |   by Nicole Whitacre Filed under Fun & Encouragement | Friday Funnies

Love this week’s Friday Funny from Tiffany. See you back here next week! Nicole for the girltalkers

Today was a cleaning/laundry day and while performing my duties I had the song ‘House of the Lord’ on my mind so I sang it out periodically not having a clue anyone noticed. There is a line that says, “Your Shepherd’s staff comforts me…”

Upon passing by my three-year-old daughter’s room I heard her gently singing, “Your Shepherd’s PIE comforts me..”

I praised her for singing to Jesus and asked her to sing it again to make sure I had heard correctly and yep, shepherd’s pie!

Guess it really is a comfort food!

Aug 28

Q&A: How Can I Be “Just Friends” with Guys?

2013 at 7:41 am   |   by Janelle Bradshaw Filed under Biblical Womanhood | Singleness | Relationship Advice | Purity | Q&A

Q. I am 18 years old and would like to know how to be “just friends” with the guys in our church, but don’t know how. Can you give me any advice?

A. It wasn’t so long ago that I was navigating my way through the teen years and into early adulthood. One issue always lurking in the shadows was “friendships with guys.” How do these relationships look different from those with my girlfriends? How much time do I spend with them? Is it okay to hang out one on one or talk on the phone?

I always wished for a simple set of rules—a little list of “do’s and dont’s” that I could carry around in my pocket. These rules would guarantee that I would no longer have to worry about that little conscience of mine. However, I learned early on that this one was a wisdom issue, and that Scripture was the primary source for that wisdom.

In 1 Timothy 5:1-2, Paul tells Timothy that he should, “Treat…younger women like sisters, in all purity.” Now if the guys are going to treat us as “sisters in all purity,” then we in turn must act like sisters, in purity! Here in this verse is wisdom we so desperately need. We must ask ourselves—do I treat my guy friends as I would my own brother? Am I walking in absolute purity toward all young men?

For myself, I realized that my heart often had many competing motives at work in my relationships with guys. Instead of thinking and acting like a sister, I sometimes found myself wanting attention from a particular guy. I also wanted other girls to think I had a sufficient number of guys that called me “friend.” Often, the motives behind my relationships with guys were not pure, or God-honoring.

That is why it was so helpful that my mom and I kept a running dialogue on this issue. We didn’t have some kind of formal debriefing once a week, but talking about my guy friends was a regular part of our lives. These conversations were most critical for me in the accountability that they provided and the counsel that my mom brought. For those of you who may not have a godly mom, I would encourage you to have these types of conversations with another older, wiser, woman in your church. We aren’t called to live the Christian life alone. We need the help, encouragement, and counsel of others.

I also quickly learned that my friendships with guys needed to look quite different than my friendships with girls. I recall one pastor telling me: “Janelle, guys read into things just as much as girls do. When a girl shows consistent attention to one guy, it can cultivate affection in that guy’s heart.” While I may have been considering my guy friends as brothers, they may have been thinking that there was something more. That’s why my mom always exhorted me to relate to all guys as “another woman’s husband.” This little phrase was a very helpful heart-check when it came to relating to my guy friends.

All of this said, friendships with guys are not wrong. In fact I would argue that as a single woman, friendships with godly, mature young men who are committed to purity are a gift from the Lord. Paul is obviously assuming that Timothy will relate to other young women in the church, but he makes clear what those relationships ought to look like. As one of three girls (until my favoritist little brother arrived on the scene 12 yrs. after me) I’m very grateful for the guys that were my “brothers” during those years. If we pursue the biblical principles of purity and brotherly love, we can enjoy godly friendships with godly guys as blessings from our heavenly Father.

~from the archives


Aug 26

Guarding Our Children’s Understanding of Beauty

2013 at 8:24 am   |   by Nicole Whitacre Filed under Biblical Womanhood | Beauty

As a parent, we must do our best to protect our children from the influence of our culture’s false and destructive messages about beauty. But how? Here are a few suggestions:

Guard their heroes.

Children collect heroes: people or characters they want to be like. This means that we as parents must watch over and wisely supervise our children’s affections. Who are our child’s heroes? Who do they admire and try to imitate? Often, children’s first heroes are the characters they see on television or the toys they play with. As they grow older, they may look to athletes, actors, or musicians. These personalities can shape the development of their desires and beliefs in profound ways.

As our children identify with these “heroes”—wanting to dress like them, talk like them, be like them—they imbibe the messages about beauty that these characters display. Consider: what do the TV, music, and toys you allow in your home say about the beauty of God and the inner beauty he requires? Do the characters in your children’s favorite television shows flaunt their immodesty or vanity? Do the toys they play with promote an ungodly perspective of physical beauty? As parents, let’s wisely help our children choose their heroes.

Guard their childhood.

Children are beautiful, largely because they don’t know it yet. A young girl is fascinated by the world, not trying to fascinate others with how she looks. This lack of self-awareness is a gift from God and meant to be enjoyed. But sometimes, as parents, we prematurely interrupt our daughters’ blissful ignorance by paying excessive attention to how they look.

Let’s seek to guard our daughters’ childhood instead of following the cultural trend to prematurely rush young girls into womanhood. Be discerning about your daughter’s unique temptations to vanity and self-focus. Intentionally limit the time, money, and conversation you spend (or allow them to spend!) on their appearance. If necessary, consider delaying certain beauty enhancements such as jewelry or cosmetics. Focus their attention on God and others. Start out as you mean for them to go on.

Guard their friendships.

True friends teach us to love true beauty. Conversely, vain and self-focused friends may encourage those sinful tendencies already at work in our hearts. A wise mother will carefully watch over her daughter’s friendships. Consider: what do your daughter and her friends talk about most when they are together? What are their favorite hobbies and activities? Does time with friends make her more consumed with herself, with the latest styles, with being physically beautiful? Let’s help our daughters choose friends wisely and to become the kind of friend who influences others to serve and to obey God. This may mean limiting the time two girls spend together, or taking a more proactive role in choosing their activities when they are together.

As moms we should seek to create a culture of friendship between our daughter and her friends that promotes and cultivates true beauty. Friendships that are built around trusting God and doing good works will help our daughters grow up to be truly beautiful.

Related posts:

Talking to Our Children About Beauty, Pt. 2

Talking to Our Children About Beauty, Pt. 1

Showing Beauty to Our Children

Teaching Our Kids About Beauty